normally make me stop and marvel. Right now it just all seems wrong. The only colour it should be is black. I slow down and see a little speckled sparrow, balancing on a thin branch. Through the leaves, he twitters to his friend below.
Anger wells up inside me. It starts in my belly and then pushes its way up to thump in my chest, and then to my forehead. I lean down and pick up a rock. The sharp edges cut into my hand as I squeeze it into a fist. How dare those birds carry on like nothing has happened? Donât they know that the world can never be the same? That a piece is missing? It seems everyone wants to pretend that nothing has changed. That we can just pick up the pieces and carry on like normal. But how can anything be normal again?
âLibby, what are you doing?â Jaimeâs frightened look makes me drop the rock.
âNothing.â I march off as fast as I can, hoping to lose my pretend friends. I hear their footsteps quicken as I weave in and out of a row of poplars.
Ebony appears beside me, red-faced and panting.
âSlow down, Libby.â
Ebony has the most perfect rosebud lips Iâve ever seen on a real person. Her long black hair looks like someone has painted just the right amount of gloss on it so it can sparkle in the sunshine. The rest of her is made up of meanness. Iâve seen her at school with the younger kids. Cruel words tumble out of her mouth like an avalanche, and they donât stop until her victims are crying in the rubble. Then, with a flick of her gorgeous hair, sheâs off looking for her next target.
I ignore her.
âLook, I know how sad you must be, Libby.â
She stands right in my way.
âYouâve got no bloody idea.â
âActually, I do. My guinea pig died last year and I felt awful for days, but it does get better.â
âYou canât compare your guinea pig to â Oh God, it doesnât matter.â
âLibby, youâre not listening to me.â She runs in front of me and stands on the track with her hands on her hips. âIâm telling you, it will get better.â
I canât believe Iâm hearing this crap. Then it clicks. âShit ⦠I get it. Mum told you what to say, didnât she? God, youâve probably been waiting all morning to get it out.â I glare at her as she blocks my path. I get the same feeling that I got when I heard the sparrow. Anger wells up in my belly, and rocks within my reach glisten.
âI thought you were taking us to the barn,â Lucy yells out from behind.
The urge to throw rocks at Ebony is replaced by an urge to get away from these girls.
Lucy looks as mad as a rattle snake, and there are perspiration beads all over her face. âI want to see the barn.â
âI donât feel that well.â I spin around and head towards the house. âWhy donât you take your jacket off, Lucy? You look like youâre overheating.â
âIâm fine.â
I hear the three of them whisper behind me, but I couldnât care less what they think.
On the porch, I kick my boots off.
âExcuse me.â Ebony pushes past me into the kitchen.
Lucy sidles up to her mum and whispers in her ear.
âWell, it seems that Libby needs a bit of a rest, so weâd better get going.â Lady Mayor says.
Mum whips her head around in my direction. Iâm hoping to see sympathy in her eyes, but what I see looks more like blame. She arranges a smile on her face and turns back to our guests. âBut Iâve only just put some muffins in â youâll have to wait for them!â
Lucy stiffens her body and folds her arms across her chest. We all see the look she gives her mum. Lady Mayor hunts for her handbag and loops the strap over her forearm.
âThank you, but we really have to go.â
âAnother day, then?â Mum must realise how pathetic and desperate she sounds.
âYes, weâll be in touch.â
They