The Search for Sam
subtext. Saying I am not Ivanick’s brother is
     my father’s way of saying that I am unworthy of being honored that way, that I am
     less their son than even Ivan. My father steps into the kitchen, leaving me and my
     mother alone in awkward silence.
    The truth is, I’m too upset about One’s worsening fades to even care about the hateful
     soap opera of my family life.
    “You’ve barely touched your plate, Adamus.” My mother looks at me with concern. “Is
     something upsetting you?”
    The question is so ridiculous, given the circumstances, I almost laugh. I almost say,
     “Yes, Mother. Everything is upsetting me.” But I bite my tongue.
    I hear One’s voice from last night. “ We need to get back in that lab .”
    She’s right. She’s fading so fast I need to convince Dr. Zakos to try the procedure
     again if she’s going to have any hope of living. But how can I convince my father
     to let me go, to grant me leave of my temporary position in the surveillance facility?
    “Adamus?”
    “I’m just afraid,” I say. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but I see it, the
     dim outline of a new card to play.
    “Afraid?” my mother asks. “Afraid of what?”
    “Of Father. I’m afraid he’ll make me …” My voice trails off dramatically. I force
     myself to look as stricken, as ghostly with fear, as I can.
    “What are you saying—”
    And then I blurt it out. I explain to my mother that I ran into Dr. Anu’s replacement
     in the Northwest tunnel the other day and he said that he could do the mind-transfer
     procedure again.
    “He says it’ll work this time. That they can’t do it to just anyone, it has to be
     me. And I’m afraid, I don’t want to go back into the labs and be hooked up to machines.
     I’m afraid I’ll go into another coma or—or … worse!” I will tears to my eyes. “He
     says he can dig up real information about the Garde if they do it, and I think the
     General will make me …”
    “Oh Adamus, I doubt that—”
    I interrupt her, louder than before. “But he will! If the General finds out, I’m sure
     he will!”
    Then I hear his low deep voice, coming from behind me.
    “If he finds out what, exactly?”
    It’s the General. Taking my bait.

CHAPTER 9
    “Have a seat, get comfortable.” Dr. Zakos has positioned a large curved chair in the
     center of the room and gestures for me to get in. Nervously I take a seat.
    “I was delighted to hear from your father last night,” he says, flitting around the
     laboratory, putting monitors in place, booting up scary-looking medical equipment.
     “But with the short notice, it might take me a while to get this equipment up and
     running.”
    I can tell he’s ecstatic to use the equipment on me. Adamus, the Mogadorian lab rat.
    I sink into the chair, trying to get comfortable while Zakos sets up. I should be
     happy: my ruse worked. I deliberately let my father overhear that I didn’t want to
     be used in Zakos’s mind-transfer experiments, and he had Zakos on the phone within
     minutes, giving him the go ahead to plug my brain into One’s corpse.
    The General still hates me, and seeing me weak and afraid, as I’d pretended to be
     at the dinner table, gave his meager conscience whatever license it needed to risk
     my life again in the lab.
    The General is free to hate me. I hate him too. And now that I’ve succeeded in tricking
     him again, my hatred has a new depth, a new dimension: contempt. I fooled him.
    The machines begin to whir.
    I’m afraid of what will happen while I’m under, but push that aside. More than anything
     else, I’m relieved to know that One may have a chance of survival. If the technology
     has improved, maybe I can get through the procedure unharmed, rescuing One in the
     process.
    “The transfer rig will take about twenty minutes to warm up,” Zakos announces.
    I nod as I watch the doctor approach the steel console beside the tile containing
     One’s body. He presses a few buttons

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