The Secret Lives of Married Women by Elissa Wald Read Free Book Online

haven’t told him the half of it. And at this point, if I go there, I’ll have to admit that I’ve kept it from him all this time.”
    “Maybe you should tell him anyway,” Rae said. “You know? I mean, he’s your husband.”
    I considered this in silence, staring down at the table.
    “And speaking of Stas,” she said, “I still want to hear how you two got it on.”

7
    Stas liked to say he fell in love with me the day I showed up at Kaiser Tech. And it was true that I’d been aware of a puppyish crush on his part, something I regarded with tender amusement when I considered it at all. He was nine years younger than me and spoke broken English. He lived in Inwood, with a roommate.
    Still, he managed to conduct a steady and strenuous courtship within our working relationship. If I promised a client we could install their new network right away, Stas would stay up all night getting it done. When I dropped a gold earring down the drain of the bathroom sink, Stas took apart the pipes and recovered it for me. And he wouldn’t let me be alone in the office after dark. “This building is not safe,” he said. “And the neighborhood is not safe either.” On such evenings, he stayed at his own desk, entering data and adjusting spreadsheets until I was ready to go. Sometimes we had dinner delivered, and afterward he would walk me home.
    One night everyone from the office went for drinks, and Marcus left after the second round. Bryce, Stas and I moved on to another bar, which was across from a midtown strip joint. “Ever been inside one of those places, Stas?” asked Bryce.
    Stas said no.
    “I’ll have to show you the ropes, then. Some other time. Not tonight,” he said. “Tonight I need to talk with Leda about our strategy for signing this hedge fund. We’re sitting down with them in the morning.”
    It was a dismissal, but I could see that Stas did not want to go. He put on his jacket but remained at the table, nursing what was left of his drink.
    “Seriously, Stas. It’s past your bedtime,” Bryce said. “Get out of here so Leda and I can review the battle plan.”
    There was an awkward moment where Stas sat without moving. Then slowly he stood up, knocking back the dregs of the martini Bryce had ordered for him.
    “We’ll see you tomorrow,” Bryce said.
    Stas touched his brow in a drunken salute before making his way to the door. We watched him go.
    “That poor son of a bitch is in love with you,” Bryce told me.
    “He’s just a young pup,” I said. “He’ll get over it.”
    “My favorite kind of woman,” Bryce said with appreciation. “Heartless.”
    He nodded at the neon girlie palace framed by the bar’s front window. “So what do you say we have our next round across the street?”
    “A little silicone with our strategy meeting?”
    “Come on, you’ll love it, the girls are super fucking hot.”
    As we stumbled across Ninth Avenue and made our way along the sidewalk, I caught sight of Stas half a block behind us, lingering outside a branch office of Off-Track Betting.
    “Hey,” I said to Bryce. “Stas is following us.”
    “He just wants to see where we’re going, I bet,” Bryce told me, pushing open the smoked-glass door of the club. “He won’t come in. He can’t afford even the cover at a place like this.”
    Alcohol had left me careless, but some slight misgiving nagged at me as we climbed the stairs. I glanced back over my shoulder.
    “Don’t worry,” Bryce added. “He’s not the type to talk. Besides, who’s he gonna tell? Marcus? Fuck that guy, I don’t care what he thinks.”
    For the next couple of hours, I made out with Bryce and a girl who called herself Calypso. But afterward, even as drunk as I was, I wouldn’t let him get into the taxi he’d hailed for me. With Bryce, any long-term relationship—whatever its nature— was like a game of chess, and having sex with him would have been like sacrificing my queen.
    “Leda,” he pleaded. “Just let me