The Shattered Rose by Jo Beverley Read Free Book Online

Yet another helpful priest—this time a wandering preacher trying to stir interest in the crusade—had suggested that such noble service might be the weapon to breach the walls.
    "It hardly seems the way to get with child," Galeran pointed out, "for us to separate for years."
    Instead of arguing, Jehanne turned away. "I thought you might be relieved to go."
    "Why would you think that?"
    "I know I've become a misery, that I've been demanding—"
    "You can't imagine that I mind your demands."
    She turned to look him straight in the eye. "Can't I?"
    He sighed. "It's not the frequency I mind, Jehanne, but the desperation. When did we last laugh as we loved?"
    "I think I've forgotten how."
    He wanted to suggest that she relearn, that they forget about children, but he might as well suggest she forget to breathe. "So you think God wants my sword in Jerusalem."
    He couldn't make himself sound enthusiastic, for though he enjoyed martial exercises, he'd never found pleasure in killing. He'd often given thanks for living in quite peaceful times.
    She touched him then, lightly on his arm. "I don't like the thought either. Asking you to leave, Galeran, is like cutting off my hand."
    And thus it showed the depth of her need. He took her in his arms. "It surely is a noble service to make the holy places safe for pilgrims. All Christians should lend their strength. But we cannot assume that God will repay us as we wish."
    "He should, for it will be a horrible sacrifice." She looked up at him, and it was almost like the old Jehanne again, the one who had picked up his sword to face a boar. "If this doesn't work, Galeran, I'm going to convert to Mahomet's religion!"
    He laughed, but he suspected it wasn't far from the truth. If the God of the Infidels promised Jehanne a child, she would kneel to Him.
    * * * * *
    They traveled to London to join the other Crusaders, escorted by Lord William and Jehanne's uncle, Hubert of Burstock. Hubert's second son, Hugh, also intended to take the cross, but solely out of ambition for glory and land.
    The vow was the same, though, no matter what the motive—to take the Holy City of Jerusalem or die in the attempt, and not to turn back before that goal was reached.
    Galeran made an additional silent vow—that he would stay faithful to his wife. He didn't think it would be hard, for he'd never lain with a woman other than Jehanne, and never wanted to. In view of their cause, though, for him to waste his seed on whores would surely be wicked.
    As was ordered by the Pope, Jehanne stepped forward to attest that she agreed to her husband going so far away for so long. Galeran left all his affairs in his wife's capable hands, subject only to the advice of a disapproving Lord William.
    Then they spent one last night together, a night much closer to their early joyous ones than any they had experienced recently.
    A night that had resulted in a son.
    God truly was good.
    Despite present circumstances, Galeran still believed that, and sitting in the dark woods, he lowered his head to pray.
    * * * * *
    It was Raoul who woke him.
    In the still, gray dawn, Galeran stretched painfully, chilled through and almost set into the awkward position he'd slept in. Sleeping in mail hadn't helped. His flesh was probably permanently indented.
    "Trying to kill yourself?" Raoul asked rather testily, offering a flagon of hot spiced cider.
    Galeran wrapped his cold hands around it gratefully and sipped. "I don't want to die."
    "Good." Raoul had brought freshly cooked pork and warm bread, and passed some over. "I must say, your family eats well on campaign."
    "My father always liked his comforts."
    They ate in silence for a while, then Raoul tossed a bone into the misty bushes. "The castle's still shut tight, and it'll be first light soon. What are you going to do when she defies you?"
    "First light is hard to define. Jehanne will open at the last moment."
    "Why would she let you in? She must know it'll go hard with her, and your castle