The Summer We Got Free by Mia McKenzie Read Free Book Online Page B

Sunday, packed with worshippers, all of them on their feet and clapping as
the choir sang, feet stomping and tambourines shaking and arms reaching up in
exaltation. The light through the stained-glass windows threw sunstreaked color on the heads of the congregation, who
sang and shouted about the glory of the Lord. Regina could not hear the song,
but the movement of the bodies sounded to her like His Eye Is On the Sparrow. It had been
Geo's favorite hymn and Regina could remember, back when he was in the
children's choir, the way he would lift his voice and close his eyes at the
refrain. “ His eye is on the sparrow, and
I know he watches me .” When this image also faded from the tea, no new
scene replaced it. Regina sat there at the kitchen table, still staring into
the cup, and she could feel her head clearing now, her mind coming uncluttered.
As she came back to her sanity, as it moved through her with purpose, like a
spirit coming through a dark house out into the day, she got up from the table
and left the kitchen, walking through the foyer and up the stairs to her
bedroom, and she could still hear Geo's voice, singing those words that, now,
after everything, only mocked him. " I
sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free ."

 
    ***
    Regina emerged from her bedroom a little while later
and when she walked by the bathroom she saw Ava on the floor, on her knees,
scrubbing the bathtub. She leaned against the doorframe and watched her
daughter, who was sweating in the warmth of the small space. When Ava paused to
wipe sweat from her brow, she saw her mother there and she knew immediately
that Regina had changed. “You back, Mama?” she asked.
    Regina nodded.
"I'm back."
    To anybody who didn't know Regina, she would have been
unrecognizable from only a few minutes ago. Her hair was combed now, and held
in a neat bun at the back of her head. She had changed out of her tattered
housecoat, into a plain cotton dress, all the buttons of which were fastened correctly.
The most stark difference, though, was the look in her
eyes. It was steady now. Clear. Almost Normal.
    “Didn’t Sarah clean that tub yesterday?” Regina asked.
    “Did she?”
    Regina nodded.
    Ava sighed, then looked
thoughtful. “Mama, what did you mean before, when you said you thought I was
the one I used to be? Do you remember saying that, at the door?”
    “I think so,” Regina said. “But I was probably just
talking nonsense, Ava. You know better than to listen to anything I say when
I’m like that.”
    “I know. But the way you looked at me, it was like you
really saw something.”
    “I don’t know what I thought I saw, but maybe I was
thinking about how you was when you was young.”
    “What do you mean? How was I?”
    “You remember how wild you was. How happy.”
    “Was I?” Ava asked. “I don’t remember that.”
    Regina shrugged. “Well. People change. Girls grow up.”
    Still, Ava
thought, she should be able to remember being wild and happy. She was only
aware of ever being exactly as she was now. That bothered her, although she
wasn’t exactly sure that there was something to be bothered about. In the
doorway with Helena, though, just for a moment, she had felt wild. And happy.

 
    It was still early, not yet noon, but the sun had burned
off the morning chill and the air outside had become warm and soft. Paul and
Helena walked down towards Fifty-Eighth Street, towards the park at the end of
the block.
    "You lied to your family about where you went
when we split up,” Helena said.
    Paul stopped
walking, looked at her. “Y’all talked about that?”
    “I didn’t tell
them where you really went, if that’s what you’re asking.”
    He was relieved. "I don't want them knowing
nothing about it. Juvie was the worst time of my life
and I don't want to think about it, let alone tell nobody."
    "Even your
wife?"
    He didn’t
answer.
    “Will you tell
me about it?”
    He took his
hands from his pockets and folded his arms