The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke by Rebecca R. Cohen Read Free Book Online

bends there, nothing unusual but when I went to see him for a routine adjustment three summers ago he noticed that my spine was beginning to curve a lot more than a spine is supposed to. So after deliberating and observing me for a few months he sent me to a specialist, Dr. Meresh. After a series of weekly measurements and follow-up X rays Dr. Meresh determined that I had scoliosis and in order to avoid surgery would have to wear a back brace until I stopped growing. It was a devastating blow since I was going to be starting my freshman year of high school in a few months, a time when you’re supposed to start becoming the person you’re going to be the rest of your life. I had been looking forward to high school since I was in the 6th grade but after receiving that news, high school was the last place I wanted to be.
                  As upsetting as it was to wear it the original brace was easier to disguise with the right clothing so most of my peers couldn’t tell but with this new brace, well , I can’t remember a time when I felt worse than the first time I slid into it and felt the weight of the bars on my shoulders. I tried to hide it with the same clothing I had been wearing with the original brace but it was useless. No matter how many hoodies I wore the bars stuck out like a basketball player in a kindergarten classroom. It took me a full week to go out in public wearing it and going back to school was a major fight in my house but obviously it was one I was ultimately going to lose.
     
    As Jamie and I walk and talk I notice that when we pass little kids some of them point at me and laugh...I feel exposed out here like I am on display for gawking eyes. I see Jamie cringe and glance at me to see how I am handling it. Mist is flying off the ocean splashing our faces as the breeze kicks up a few notches. I don’t remember the Ocean Walk being this long in the past. This must be so embarrassing for him. He is brand new to this town and hasn’t established a rapport with anyone yet and because of me he is going to be known as the freak-groupie. Any chance he has at getting in with the popular crowd is destroyed now that he’s been seen with me. I knew this was a bad idea. My life was ruined the minute I was diagnosed and now I’ve taken Jamie down with me.
    “Does it hurt?” Jamie nods at the part of the brace he can see.
    My heart slams into my chest as I stare at my feet. I don’t look at him but reply, “Not really. It is more uncomfortable than it is painful.”
    “How long do you have to wear it for?”
    “I’m not sure. I guess until the doctors are confident my spine won’t curve anymore.”
    “Scoliosis, right? Your spine is curving like an S?”
    He must have done his research. Not many people, at least that I have come across, know what scoliosis is. I usually have to explain it to them. “Yup, lucky me. I never thought going to the chiropractor would lead to this.”
    “April, I’m sorry,” Jamie says and smiles flatly.
    I shrug and walk a little faster. “Yeah well what can you do? It’s the cards I’ve been dealt.” But I don’t feel this way at all. I’m pissed and feel like I am being punished for something and there are days when I don’t want to leave the house because I don’t want anyone to see me. But I don’t want Jamie to know that. I’ll look weak and Amber says weakness is an unattractive quality to guys.
    “Hey, Jamie,”
    “Yeah”
    Ugh! This is going to suck but it is the only way I can avoid getting hurt when he comes to his senses and realizes I’ve ruined him.
    “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
    “Do what?” he asks, genuinely confused.
    “This, go on this date,” I stammer. “I’m the robot girl with the hunchback and you’ve only just gotten into town and you shouldn’t start your life here being seen with the town freak.”
    He stares at me, stunned in silence. It’s better this way, right? I’m saving us both from ridicule and