The Trouble Way by James Seloover Read Free Book Online Page A

shit-ass. I ’d have been hurt if she had. I bet Uncle Wendell never gave anybody the bigger half of a candy bar. I’d wager a large slice of Baker’s Square carrot cake against a single Reese’s piece he always kept the biggest piece. That’s darn good odds, but that’s how confident I am.
    I haven ’t told Bella that; about the shit-ass comment. She’s only a baby. She says I’m “The best grandfather in the whole wide world.” A person remembers when some tell you something like that, that’s for sure. Especially when I’m not anybody’s grandfather. The thing is, though, I haven’t had all that long to remember it, or to forget it. So far, so good.
    Giving the other person the bigger half, that ’s been a hard one for me, but I’m getting a lot better at it, especially since I passed sixty. Goes against one’s basic instincts, especially if you really, really like candy. I’d give someone the bigger piece of a chocolate cake or Reeses Pieces. I’d give you a whole jar of Jiffy Peanut Butter. That’s a no-brainer. I’d have a struggle with carrot cake or Almond Roca, for obvious reasons.
    I ’ve known a lot of people over the years. Most of them aren’t too important. I’ll let you decide for yourself, but I think that nearly all of them are nuts. There aren’t many of them that I still know. They were people who were just passing through, if you know what I mean. They were nice ‘n’ all, most of them, but they just passed through and went on their silly ways. A few weren’t nuts, maybe two, or three. Any more than that would be a stretch.
    This is how nice Bella is. She sat on my lap for the entire CD of Willie Nelson ’s Greatest Hits. She’s four! We sat there in front of my computer listening for about an hour.
    Bella showed me a new trick, how she could tap her toe to the music. She ’d just realized she could do that and was really proud of it. She showed me how she could do it with either foot and she did it all the way through “Good Hearted Woman.” Somewhere in the middle of the CD she pulled my head down and said, “I love you Papa.” Now there is a bullet point of life I want to remember forever.
    She likes “Railroad Lady” the best and made me play it several times. My favorite Willie Nelson song was “On the Road Again.” Not any more, that’s second now.
    Bella is an expert in creating memories, for true. I wonder if she would like Leonard Cohen. I sure hope so.
    Bella has a knack for making a person remember what she says. Not long ago, she was sitting on my lap as I was reading her a Dr. Seuss story, “The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins,” I think. She had to go potty and she put her hand on the page and looked up at me and said, “Pause it.” She jumped down and scurried off down the hall.
     
     
    One of the people who isn ’t nuts is Priscilla, my cousin and now my wife. She’s the tall girl I rode bareback on the pony with when I was nine or ten. Hell, it’s hard to remember that far back. I remember the pony and I remember Priscilla, for sure. At the time, I knew the pony a lot better than I knew Priscilla. I just don’t remember ages and stuff like that. It was “a yong, yong, yong time ago,” as Bella says. She has a hard time with her “L’s.” Her “S’s” too. Priscilla gives me lots of really good memories too.
    As hard as I try, there ’s one person whose memory is impossible to shake. It’s Janis. She’s the lunatic I eloped with to Idaho two steps out of high school. She made sure of that she made an impression on me. Maybe it’s the scars from the steak-knife wounds that made the impression. But, I keep trying. I should probably just give up. I didn’t want to even say anything about her but I guess that tells you something about her. Of course, I guess that says something about me too. She’s another one who has the ability to create lasting memories.
    I took the three dollars I didn ’t deserve and I married a lunatic. I