was on the point of stepping out from the place where I had paused, beneath the shade of a stand of alders, but some instinct held me back. I am learning to trust my instincts, and it is as Gurdyman, Edild and Hrype all tell me: the more you listen to these inner promptings, the better they will work for you.
I tried to work out why I should keep hidden. If Elfritha was unharmed, then surely it did not matter if it became known that I was there? But if she was the murderer’s victim – she’s not, she’s NOT! I cried silently – then it might be a different matter . . .
I stood in an agony of indecision. Finally, I could bear it no longer. Any answer, even the one I so feared to hear, would be better than this terrible uncertainty. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and was about to step out in the open when firm, strong fingers grasped my arm and a big hand went over my mouth. There was a harsh whisper in my ear – ‘ No, do not show yourself! ’ – and I was pulled backwards, deeper into the shady space under the trees.
My heart thumping, I twisted my mouth free of that hard hand and turned round to face my assailant.
FOUR
I t was Hrype.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ I hissed angrily. ‘You’ve cut my lip!’ I put my fingers to my mouth and held them up, bloody, right in his face.
‘I am sorry, Lassair,’ he said softly. ‘I had to stop you, but I hope you know I did not mean to hurt you.’
I muttered something, still cross with him. Then, my curiosity piqued, I said, ‘Why did you have to stop me? Don’t you understand why I’m here? A nun’s been killed and this is Elfritha’s abbey!’ In case he had missed the point, I added in an anguished hiss, ‘ She’s my sister! ’
For the first time the reality of the situation hit me. Perhaps it was because, now that I was no longer alone, I could let my defences slip a little. I felt tears form in my eyes, and I brushed them away.
He must have seen, for he took hold of my hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘I know,’ he said soothingly. ‘We will find out what has happened as soon as we can, although I do not believe—’ He stopped.
He did not believe what? That Elfritha was the murderer’s victim? I turned to him, words of urgent appeal bubbling up, but he shook his head. ‘Do not ask,’ he said, ‘for as yet I cannot be sure.’
Suddenly, I felt faint. I saw big black spots before my eyes, and I thought I was going to vomit. Hastily, Hrype pushed me down to the ground and made me put my head between my knees. ‘Take deep, slow breaths,’ he commanded.
I kept seeing Elfritha’s face. Sweet-natured, gentle, and by far the nicer of my two sisters, Elfritha would have made a wonderful wife and mother to some lucky family, only from a very young age she knew she belonged to the Lord. I have never told her, but from the day she left to enter Chatteris Abbey, there has always been a bit of a hole in my life.
I was feeling better. I raised my head – slowly – and looked up at Hrype. ‘What do you suggest we do?’
He lowered himself down to sit beside me and, leaning close so that he could speak very quietly, said, ‘There are things I must tell you.’ He paused, gathering his thoughts. ‘There are – rumours, of a fanatic of the new religion who has not the tolerance of some of his fellows.’
Yes, so Sibert had suggested. I did not say so aloud. It had been, I supposed, only a matter of time. We who still honoured the old ways were open-minded. I, for example, had developed a growing love for the saviour god of the Christians, and I understood how appealing it was to believe you had a loving, stalwart friend constantly at your side, encouraging you always to do the good thing – one who, whilst he was sad when you let him down, was ever ready to forgive if you were genuinely sorry. But our tolerant attitude did not appear to be shared by the priests of the new religion, who seemed to take the view that they