The Wine of Youth by John Fante Read Free Book Online Page A

one of you grab his arms, and the other his legs, and you lift him up and down as hard as you can, so that his seat bumps the ground.
    Harold was so scared he did not fight back. We told him to get on his back, and he did it. We told him to take off his specs, and he did it. We told him we would teach him not to snitch, and he said he would not any more. He started to cry. That made me want to hurry up.
    After we bumped him the first time, he yelled as loud as he could. The guys and Sister heard him, because they came running from everywhere. It is too bad the guys were not closer. They would of got a big kick out of it. Sister Cecilia was nearly running. She was almost half a mile away.
    I saw a cactus plant with short thorns, not even half an inch long.
    â€œLet’s sit him in that, and then beat it,” I said.
    We did it. We sat him in the cactus and ran away.
    They nearly kicked us out of school for what we did. I mean the nuns.
    We had to apologize to them and to Father Andrew and to the whole school. We got lickings at home and in school. We had to stay every night until five for a month. We did not get to go to the altar boy banquet.
    But we did not care a bit. We got even. You can ask any of the guys about Harold Maguire now. They will tell you he used to be a snitch baby, but he is not one now. He is a swell guy now.
    III
    Bill Shafer is the worst altar boy in the bunch. He swipes stuff, and he chews gum before Communion. I do not see how he does it. I do not think his mother cares, because I saw him eat meat on Friday. It was a sandwich. His mother makes his lunch. If she cared, she would make him eat fish. Bill says it is not his sin if he eats meat. It is her sin. She put it in. Bill has four Sundaysuits. He wears them to school a lot. His mother is sure keen-looking. If my mother was as keen-looking as she is, I would sure feel good. I do not mean that my mother is not good-looking. I mean that Bill’s mother is sure good-looking.
    Bill showed me how to swipe agates at the ten-cent store. You open your waist, and then you lean away over the counter. When the girl is not looking, you roll the migs into your waist. It is a good way. It works every time. I do not think Bill told his in Confession, but I told Father Andrew mine.
    Father Andrew said I had to return the migs or pay for them. He sure was sore. He almost hollered at me. Bill won all my migs, so I will have to pay for them with money sometime. I will do it when I get bigger. I bet Bill never does pay for his.
    One time I was walking home from school with Bill. He had a dime, so we went to Drake’s to get Eskimo pies.
    When we were in there, he said: “Hey, do you want a fountain-pen?”
    I said: “Sure.”
    He said: “Wait a minute.”
    He said to Mr. Drake: “Hey, Mr. Drake, can I use your phone?”
    Mr. Drake said: “Sure.”
    So Bill went to the phone in back. At first I wondered what the heck. Then I knew he was going to swipe a pen for me. I did not snitch, though; I am not a snitch baby. I did not watch, because Old Man Drake might catch on. He was piling Eskimo pies, and I looked at his bald head. His neck was real little. I started to think maybe somebody would come into the store. Maybe somebody would, then we would get caught and get sent to Golden. The big reform school is in Golden. Sister says there is not a Catholic boy in there. There never has been. If we were caught, we would be the first Catholics. I did not want to get caught. I thought I better pray that we would not get caught.
    I looked at old Drake’s bald head and prayed to myself. In my head, I mean.
    I said: “Hail Mary, please do not let anybody come in. Please do not let anybody come in.”
    The Blessed Virgin heard my prayer, because just then Bill came back.
    When we got outside, he said: “Hey, come on. Run like hell.” Hell is not swearing. Hell is on every page of the Catechism. You can say it.
    We did