The Winter Wedding by Abby Clements Read Free Book Online Page A

just didn’t really want to. I’m aware it sounds nuts – who has money to throw away on a new TV, right? But when we broke up it was
all so miserable that I just wanted a totally clean slate, a new start. I can’t face seeing things every day that remind me of him. Oh – a few notable exceptions. I was hardly going to
leave him all my DVDs,’ she said, smiling.
    ‘Never.’
    There was a glassiness to her eyes that belied the smile.
    She misses him. Appearances can be deceptive.
    ‘It’s great to have a new start,’ Amber said.
    That was when I knew I had to make sure hers was a good one.
    ‘What about you? Are you seeing anyone?’
    I shook my head. ‘I’m better at being single.’
    I went to my room and left Amber to unpack the few things she’d brought. I thought about what she’d asked.
    I didn’t long for romance – God no. I didn’t need to be taken out of real life – real life was good. I was happy with real life. But occasionaly I wondered if there was
potential for it to be better. I guess, when I put the largely unexamined material of my emotions under the microscope, well maybe there was a little part of me that wanted to know what everyone
was talking about. Because I’d never had any cartoon bluebirds follow me through the park, never had that stereo playing out beneath my bedroom window, never had any meaningful encounters at
the top of the Empire State, or even got a Valentine’s card from anyone apart from Lila (and yes, I wish she wouldn’t do that). I knew what it was to care but not to be the centre of
someone else’s world.
    Sam had always been there – at every birthday since I was fifteen. I thought of the book he gave me for one of the birthdays in my late twenties that I’d ended in vodka-fuelled
contentment sleeping on his shoulder:
One Day
. As I’d read it, following the story of two friends, not a world away from the two of us, the gift seemed like a kind of promise.
    It embarrassed me that he could break through my emotional barriers, even though we were miles apart and out of touch now. I loved the bones of him; more than that, he was part of me. Which was
why it wasn’t straightforward. Thinking of Sam didn’t bring up one simple emotion but many, interlaced and inextricable. I couldn’t see, from this close proximity which one was
true. I knew what I wanted to believe – that everyone has a soulmate, and Sam was mine, and like something out of a film we would get together in the end. The soundtrack would be a mix CD of
the nineties songs we’d listened to in his room, and that we played from my stereo in the skate park. All of the props were ready. The story was ready for filming. It was just that Sam
didn’t want it to happen, not the way that I did.

Chapter 5
    I was coming home after an evening of working late, and jazz music trickled down the steps to the flat. When I got upstairs, I found Amber sitting at a stool in the kitchen,
stirring some cake mixture.
    ‘Hey, there,’ I said, calling out to her. She smiled and turned down the volume on the iPod dock. ‘What are you making?’
    ‘Chocolate and raspberry torte,’ she said. ‘Fancy some when it’s finished?’
    ‘God yes,’ I said, settling down on the sofa. ‘Thank you.’
    ‘How was work?’ Amber asked.
    ‘OK,’ I said. After I’d sorted Emma’s expenses – a muddle of receipts and scrawled notes that she needed changed into cash ‘urgently’, Josh and I had
stayed talking through potential locations.
    ‘I’ve flagged up a brilliant place to film with the locations department and I’m really hoping they’ll choose it. A country manor down in Sussex.’
    ‘Sounds interesting.’ She paused for a moment. ‘You know, Hazel, I’m sorry about—’ Amber glanced down. ‘One of the other assistants mentioned something
the other day. About how Tim’s job . . . Well, how you have been due a promotion for a while.’
    ‘Don’t worry about it,’ I said. ‘It’s