The Worst Class Trip Ever by Dave Barry Read Free Book Online

tourists. We both
exhaled.
    “Seriously,” I said, “maybe we should just give that thing back to them.”
    Matt shook his head. “No. Those are not good guys. Whatever they want it for, it’s probably bad.”
    “So maybe we should call the police.”
    He shook his head again. “You said it yourself. We really can’t prove anything about them, except they’re weird. We couldn’t even prove that thing is theirs.”
    “So what do we do?”
    “We keep the thing away from them, and we try to figure out what they’re up to.”
    “How?”
    “I dunno yet.”
    “Well
that’s
brilliant.”
    “You have a better idea?”
    I shook my head. “Where’s the thing now?”
    “In my suitcase. But I’m gonna keep it with me, in case they show up here while we’re gone.”
    Matt ducked back into the room and went over to his suitcase. I was staring out at the street, looking for the weird guys.
    “What are you two talking about?”
    Suzana’s voice, which I was not expecting, made me bang my head on the window frame for the second time that day.
    “You have to stop doing that,” I said. She was leaning out her window, looking amazing. Even though I had a lot of stuff on my mind at the moment, it occurred to me, somewhere deep
inside my brain, that Matt was right: I had zero chance with her. Zero.
    “Who are those guys?” she said. “And what is it they want?”
    “What guys?” I said.
    She rolled her eyes. “The guys you were just talking about with Matt. Who want the thing Matt is getting from his suitcase.”
    “Oh,” I said. Because that’s how good I am at thinking up things to say under pressure.
    “Is it the weird guys from the plane?” she said.
    “Yeah,” I said, because I couldn’t think of a reason not to.
    “What’s the thing?”
    “We don’t—”
    “It’s a detonator,” said Matt, sticking his head through the window and holding out the box for Suzana to see. “We think.”
    “We don’t know,” I said.
    Suzana was staring at the box.
    “But they want it back bad,” said Matt. “They were chasing us near the White House.”
    “What?”
said Suzana.
    So we told her about the guys chasing us around the White House, and how we got away, and how somebody called the bus company and found out what hotel we were in. When we were talking it sounded
crazy even to me, but Suzana listened like she totally believed us.
    When we were done, she said, “So they’re coming here.” She seemed kind of excited about this.
    “Yeah,” I said. “Apparently.”
    “So what’s the plan?” She said this like she was part of the plan.
    “Mainly for now, don’t let them get this thing,” said Matt.
    Suzana nodded. “Okay,” she said. “Give it to me.” She held out her hand.
    “What?” said Matt and I pretty much together.
    “They’re chasing you guys,” said Suzana. “They’re not chasing me.” Her hand was still out.
    Matt and I looked at each other.
    “Okay,” said Matt, handing over the box.
    I said, “Are you sure…”
    “I’m sure,” she said, and she disappeared with the box into her room.
    Matt and I looked at each other again.
    “Was that a good idea?” he said.
    “
Now
you ask,” I said.
    I looked at my phone. It was time to meet in the lobby for the evening activities. I took one last look out at the street in front of the hotel. It was getting dark. I didn’t see the weird
guys.
    But they were out there somewhere.

I don’t remember very much about the evening activities. We ate at a restaurant near the Capitol that specialized in feeding tour groups, as
opposed to regular humans who would eat there on purpose. Our three entrée choices were The Executive, which was chicken that could have been fish; The Legislative, which was fish that could
have been chicken; and The Judicial, which was meat loaf that could have been seat cushions. Then we went to a concert by a military band that played “pop music,” which apparently means
music that is no longer