The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak by Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger Read Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Etienne DeForest, Art Gelsinger
specifically required to destroy a zombie via this method is to disrupt the nerves connecting the brain to the rest of the body. This is accomplished by cutting through or shattering the upper spinal column, which just so happens to be located in the neck. Any severance below this point will allow whatever remains of the zombie’s body to continue after you, even if it’s just a finger or a lower jaw.
Annihilate your opponent, be it your former grandmother, daughter, wife/husband, or even Stacy Sweet from down the street, whom you've had a crush on since middle school. It should be noted, however, that just because you still live at home with your parents at the age of 30, that doesn’t necessarily mean that she still does...
There is no gray area when it comes to zombie annihilation. You must remove the gray matter from the creature possessing the host body. The person you once knew is dead and gone. All that remains is an animated shell of a person consumed with the sole purpose of devouring your brains. Therefore, the only logical course of action is to kill indiscriminately, without regret or sympathy. Sever the neck and spine of your foe, unless you’d rather become one of them as well…
Chapter 4
The Outbreak
Where or when the next outbreak will occur is anyone’s guess. However, there will at least be some subtle hints that something is amiss on the day to outbreak occurs. Soon enough, you will know that there is definitely something going on, and eventually you will know for sure that something is definitely wrong – hopefully before it is too late.
Something Seems Amiss
On your way to work there will be an unusually large number of car accidents for some reason. Unlike myself, most normal people don’t call into work in the morning just because they’re feeling a little funky, and need to heal by drinking away their sickness while jerking off to daytime soap operas.
These sick commutersers are about to turn, and shortly before turning, the living may unexpectedly pass out and die shortly after. You will likely notice groups of people surrounding these victims, trying to help or just being morbidly curious. This curiosity and tendency to help are what will ultimately lead to the rapid mass infection. As the dead suddenly turn, they will violently awaken and attack all those who surround them.
Do not fall into this trap. While others are busy gathering around the soon-to-be zombies, thus securing a similar fate for themselves, you should take this opportunity to get the hell right out of there before they multiply!
If you actually do manage to make it to work, you could take the opportunity to grab a heavy blunt object and wait for your boss, who is likely to start feeling ill at some point himself, to complete his own transformation. Just make sure that he/she has already turned before you begin taking out all those years of frustration on their skull. Once the outbreak is over, you might like to keep your old job and all of your paid time off if possible. After this battle, you’re going to need it!
Something is Going on
By the end of first day, the majority of public will be aware that some type of strange phenomena is occurring. Watch the news, as this is a critical time. If you have not procured all of your supplies already, you are going to want to do so quickly. Depending on your area, all of the stores may be flooded with people already. If they are, stay away from them. You do not want to be anywhere near a large group of people right now, as the higher the number of people are in a given location, the higher the chance of encountering the infected. Besides, you don’t want to end up like those poor suckers who got trampled to death over Tickle Me Elmo. Wherever you get yours supplies, however, you must be prepared to empty your savings account (all $26.47 of it) and buy as much ammunition and nonperishable food as you can. After that, get
Annihilate your opponent, be it your former grandmother, daughter, wife/husband, or even Stacy Sweet from down the street, whom you've had a crush on since middle school. It should be noted, however, that just because you still live at home with your parents at the age of 30, that doesn’t necessarily mean that she still does...
There is no gray area when it comes to zombie annihilation. You must remove the gray matter from the creature possessing the host body. The person you once knew is dead and gone. All that remains is an animated shell of a person consumed with the sole purpose of devouring your brains. Therefore, the only logical course of action is to kill indiscriminately, without regret or sympathy. Sever the neck and spine of your foe, unless you’d rather become one of them as well…
Chapter 4
The Outbreak
Where or when the next outbreak will occur is anyone’s guess. However, there will at least be some subtle hints that something is amiss on the day to outbreak occurs. Soon enough, you will know that there is definitely something going on, and eventually you will know for sure that something is definitely wrong – hopefully before it is too late.
Something Seems Amiss
On your way to work there will be an unusually large number of car accidents for some reason. Unlike myself, most normal people don’t call into work in the morning just because they’re feeling a little funky, and need to heal by drinking away their sickness while jerking off to daytime soap operas.
These sick commutersers are about to turn, and shortly before turning, the living may unexpectedly pass out and die shortly after. You will likely notice groups of people surrounding these victims, trying to help or just being morbidly curious. This curiosity and tendency to help are what will ultimately lead to the rapid mass infection. As the dead suddenly turn, they will violently awaken and attack all those who surround them.
Do not fall into this trap. While others are busy gathering around the soon-to-be zombies, thus securing a similar fate for themselves, you should take this opportunity to get the hell right out of there before they multiply!
If you actually do manage to make it to work, you could take the opportunity to grab a heavy blunt object and wait for your boss, who is likely to start feeling ill at some point himself, to complete his own transformation. Just make sure that he/she has already turned before you begin taking out all those years of frustration on their skull. Once the outbreak is over, you might like to keep your old job and all of your paid time off if possible. After this battle, you’re going to need it!
Something is Going on
By the end of first day, the majority of public will be aware that some type of strange phenomena is occurring. Watch the news, as this is a critical time. If you have not procured all of your supplies already, you are going to want to do so quickly. Depending on your area, all of the stores may be flooded with people already. If they are, stay away from them. You do not want to be anywhere near a large group of people right now, as the higher the number of people are in a given location, the higher the chance of encountering the infected. Besides, you don’t want to end up like those poor suckers who got trampled to death over Tickle Me Elmo. Wherever you get yours supplies, however, you must be prepared to empty your savings account (all $26.47 of it) and buy as much ammunition and nonperishable food as you can. After that, get
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