Theodora by Stella Duffy Read Free Book Online Page A

knelt beside her, yanked a handful of her hair at the back of her head so he could stare into her face, trying to see, as he always did with this girl, what was real and what for show. He felt uncomfortable when he saw real pain.
    ‘You can stop now, the tears won’t help, and they mar what little looks you have. I’ve agreed the terms of your contract with their leader. This is done. I do not let you go lightly, girl. It will not be an easy transition of course, but you and I know there is nothing your body cannot bear, no punishment it cannot take. I’ve trained you well. And we also know you need a bigger stage. There are hard things that will come of this, and there will be good. What have I always told you?’
    Theodora intoned his mantra as she had been trained: ‘Enjoy the good, bear the bad.’
    ‘Exactly. That is all there is to do. Go now, tell Comito I will see her early in the morning, she should come before breakfast. Tomorrow night will be your last show for me. Go home.’
    Menander waited until she was almost at the door before he called after her. ‘Theodora, what have you forgotten?’
    She came back, every step a resistance, and knelt before him to kiss his foot. As she did so, he grabbed her shoulders, pulled her up and embraced her, whispering, ‘I know you child, you crave attention, and you will take punishment and pain over praise because it feels bigger. It is my hope that a larger stage will teach you the pleasure of praise. You will hurt too much otherwise. You must learn there is more to feeling than pain.’
    Theodora looked up at him, all tears gone, furious. ‘You could have taken longer to agree.’
    Menander shrugged. ‘They offered a good price to get you this young.’
    She stepped back and then spat at him, ‘I’ll be richer than you, eunuch.’
    When she reached the door he called after her, in a perfect hidden whisper, so it seemed to come at her from the walls of the room, ‘Yes you will, actress.’
    And they both laughed, understanding each other only too well.

Five
    A week later, Theodora met Sophia for the first time. Of course she knew of the dwarf’s reputation, had seen her on stage plenty of times – four foot nothing of controlled energy combined with an unstoppable charm and a mouth that, on occasion, could make even a Vandal blush – if, as Sophia said with a grin, winking at a young man in the front row, she was using it well enough.
    For more than a decade, Sophia-the-half-size had been one of the company’s biggest attractions. Unusually for a dwarf she was perfectly proportioned, just extra small – in every way but her cunt, as one of the front row lads once heckled. And then promptly shut up when, in response, she showed him her perfectly formed, and brightly tattooed, arse. Sophia had no qualms about trading on her size. While the oddly shaped attractions of other companies eventually tired of being constantly paraded less for their skills than for their bodies, Sophia saw her difference as a blessing. Unlike the other girls, she did not have to sing or act or tumble to earn her salary, she could simply stand on stage and earn applause being herself. Essentially lazy, she was happy to do as little as possible: if people paid her merely for being small, she was fine about taking their coin. The fact that such a glorious voice emanated from her tiny frame and that she had a talent for learning lines that even the old-school actors admired, just added to her status.
    Sophia made sure never to work too hard or try too much – only consenting to perform her most successful routines whenhouses were down or they needed a sharp opening to a new piece that was, as yet, lacking the indefinable something that would make it a regular crowd-pleaser. While the writers kept on trying to hone the perfect sketch, Sophia would, often as not, take their piece of basic smile-and-nod material and, with a raised eyebrow, a particular pause, skilfully placed, turn it into