There Was an Old Woman by Ellery Queen Read Free Book Online Page A

apparently pleased at having a new ear to pour their reminiscences into, and Ellery had some difficulty extricating himself from Papuan paradises, Javanese jungles, and “the good old days” in the South Seas.
    Thurlow had come to the table bearing two books. He set them down beside his service plate, and once in a while glanced at them or touched them with a glowering pleasure. From where Charley Paxton sat he could read the titles on their spines; Ellery could not.
    â€œWhat are those books, Charley?” he mumbled.
    Charley squinted. “The History of Dueling —”
    â€œHistory of dueling!”
    â€œThe other is A Manual of Firearms.”
    Mr. Queen choked over his melon.
    During the soup course—an excellent chicken consommé—Ellery looked about and looked about and finally said in an undertone to Charley: “I notice there’s no bread on the table. Why is that?”
    â€œThe Old Woman,” Charley whispered back. “She’s on a strict diet—Innis has forbidden her to eat bread in any form—so she won’t have it in the house. Why are you looking so funny?”
    Thurlow was explaining to his mother with passion the code of duello, and Major Gotch interrupted to recall some esoteric Oriental facts on the broader subject; so Mr. Queen had an opportunity to lean over to his friend and chant, softly:—
    â€œThere was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
    She had so many children she didn’t know what to do,
    She gave them both broth without any bread . . .”
    Charley gaped. “What are you talking about?”
    â€œI was struck by certain resemblances,” muttered Ellery. “The Horatio influence, no doubt.” And he finished his broth in a thoughtful way.
    Suddenly Louella’s cricket-voice cut across the flow of table talk. “Mother!”
    â€œYes, Louella?” It was embarrassing to see the eagerness in the old lady’s face as her elder daughter addressed her.
    â€œI need some more money for my plastic experiments.”
    â€œSpend your allowance already?” The corners of the Old Woman’s mouth sank, settled.
    Louella looked sullen again. “I can’t help it. It’s not going just right. I’ll get it this time sure. I need a couple of thousand more, Mother.”
    â€œNo, Louella. I told you last time—”
    To Ellery’s horror the forty-four-year-old spinster began to weep into the puddle in her consommé cup, weep and snuffle and breathe without restraint. “You’re mean! I hate you! Some day I’ll have millions—why can’t you give me some of my own money now? But no—you’re making me wait till you die. And meanwhile I can’t finish my greatest invention!”
    â€œLouella!”
    â€œI don’t care! I’m sick of asking you, asking you—”
    â€œLouella dear,” said Sheila in a strained voice. “We have guests—”
    â€œBe quiet, Sheila,” said the Old Woman softly. Ellery saw Sheila’s fingers tighten about her spoon.
    â€œAre you going to give me my own money or aren’t you?” Louella shrieked at her mother.
    â€œLouella, leave the table.”
    â€œI won’t!”
    â€œLouella, leave the table this instant and go to bed!”
    â€œBut I’m hungry, Mother,” Louella whined.
    â€œYou’ve been acting like an infant. For that you can’t have your supper. Go this instant, Louella.”
    â€œYou’re a horrible old woman!” screamed Louella, stamping her foot; and, bouncing up from the table, she stormed from the dining room, weeping again.
    Mr. Queen, who had not known whether to rise for the woman or remain seated for the child, compromised by assuming a half-risen, half-seated posture; from which undignified position he murmured, but to himself: —
    â€œAnd whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.”
    After which, finding himself