Things I Can't Forget by Miranda Kenneally Read Free Book Online

think she was so screwed up?” Will asks slowly. “It must suck to give your whole life to a church, only to watch everyone disappear when you need help.”
    This reminds me of how Emily’s parents kicked her out after the abortion. How I played it differently. I stuck by, only to have her call me a judgmental bitch.
    I feel bad for not having noticed what Parker was going through.
    “So Parker’s mad at me because I go to her church?” I ask quietly. “Because she’s mad at our church?”
    Will lifts his shoulders. “I think she’s just, um, wary of people?”
    In high school, people called me a prude and Jesus Freak because I had no problem telling people that I care about church and God. It didn’t make people rush to invite me to the movies on Friday night, that’s for sure. But I had Emily to hang out with, and I had soccer, so all was okay.
    Until it wasn’t.
    I say, “Parker’s lucky to have you.”
    He grins. “I’m lucky she agreed to give me another shot.”
    No guy has ever stood up for me this way. I glance over my shoulder at Matt.
    “Is Parker feeling better now?” I ask Will. “Since her mom left?”
    “I like to think so. But as you saw last night, she’s definitely not anywhere close to being fine…She doesn’t really have any friends who are girls.”
    I know how that feels.
    “I’m around if you want to talk more,” he says, then leaps up and dashes across the trail to Great Oak, where he pulls Parker into his arms and pecks her lips. She grins.
    My mouth edges into a smile.
    •••
    We’re walking down the path toward the lake, where Matt will train us to canoe and kayak. I look for trail markers that I can remember when walking my campers to the lake. Breadcrumbs, like Hansel and Gretel, but all I see are trees, trees, and more trees.
    Parker is a little ways behind me, so I slow down.
    “Hi,” I say, clearing my throat.
    She just looks at me and passes on by like I said nothing. I open my mouth to speak again, but nada comes out. The thing is, I wasn’t in the wrong last night. This is a job at church camp. Should guy and girl counselors really be sleeping in the same cabin together?
    Rules exist for a reason, right?
    Maybe I’d been less than tactless, accusing Parker of sinning, but I was just trying to help. And I feel bad for not noticing her pain during high school, but it’s not like she paid much attention to me then, either. She never checked on me after my surgery or asked why I didn’t play soccer anymore. The first time she confronts me, she bites my head off, leaving me embarrassed and alone.
    Or have I made myself that way?
    Am I embarrassed and alone because of who I am as a person?
    “You lost?”
    I look up to find Eric standing in front of me, narrowing his eyes. His camo outfit truly blends in with the trees. The rest of the group is way ahead of us.
    “Just thinking, I guess.”
    “You can’t do that when you’ve got ten girls to watch out for, okay? You can’t take your eyes off them even for a second, or you could lose one.”
    “Okay, I’m sorry,” I say, hardly believing how intense this guy is.
    He stalks off. I follow everyone down to the algae-spotted lake, where Matt is pushing canoes and kayaks into the water. Shirtless. His tan biceps and smooth chest just about make my heart stop.
    “Ogle much?” Andrea asks me.
    My face goes hot. Matt looks up as he unties a canoe and pushes it into the water. He gives me a little wave.
    Matt makes everybody put on a lifejacket and hands each of us an oar. Will and Parker share a canoe, and so do Andrea and Carlie, but the rest of us get our own kayaks.
    Matt takes my hand, helping me step into my kayak, the rough callouses of his skin scraping against mine.
    “Okay, everybody,” he yells, clapping once. “The rules of canoeing are simple. If you want to go right, then put the paddle in the water on your other right.”
    I laugh.
    Andrea drops her oar in the water and it starts floating off,