Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters Read Free Book Online Page B

And all the stars thought themselves too grand to Cheer" before they realised I was a girl!'
    talk to you, or were afraid you would copy their routines.
    She would unclip her necktie and hang up her jacket and And the crowds were cruel, and made you cry . ..' The hat, then she would sip her tea and smoke her fag and –
    thought of Kitty weeping brought the tears to my own eyes; since performing made her garrulous - she would talk to and seeing me so affected, she'd give a smile, and a wink, me, and I would listen, hard. And so I learned a little of her and a stretch, and say in her best swell accent: 'But those history.
    days are all behind me now, don't you know, and I am on the path to fame and fortune. Since I changed my name and 43

    44

    became a masher the whole world loves me; and Tricky my parents thought her generous, allowing me my freedom Reeves loves me most of all, and pays me like a prince, to at her own expense. The truth was, I think, that she was prove it!' And then we would smile together, because we squeamish of mentioning Kitty now - and by that alone I both knew that if she really were a masher Tricky's wages knew that it was she, more than any of them, who was would barely keep her in champagne; but my smile would uneasy. I had said nothing more to her about my passion. I be a little troubled for I knew, too, that her contract was due had said nothing of my new, strange, hot desire to anyone.
    to expire at the end of August, and then she would have to But she saw me, of course, as I lay in my bed; and, as move to another theatre - to Margate, perhaps, she said, or anyone will tell you who has been secretly in love, it is in Broadstairs, if they would have her. I couldn't bear to think bed that you do your dreaming - in bed, in the darkness, what I would do when she was gone.
    where you cannot see your own cheeks pink, that you ease What my family made of my trips backstage, my back the mantle of restraint that keeps your passion dimmed marvellous new status as Miss Butler's pal and unofficial throughout the day, and let it glow a little.
    dresser, I am not sure. They were, as I have said, impressed; How Kitty would have blushed, to know the part she played but they were also troubled. It was reassuring for them that in my fierce dreamings - to know how shamelessly I took it was a real friendship, and not just a schoolgirl mash, that my memories of her, and turned them to my own improper had me travelling so often to the Palace, and spending all advantage! Each night at the Palace she kissed me farewell; my savings on the train fare; and yet, I thought I heard them in my dreams her lips stayed at my cheek - were hot, were ask themselves, what manner of friendship could there be tender -moved to my brow, my ear, my throat, my mouth ..
    between a handsome, clever music-hall artiste, and the girl I was used to standing close to her, to fasten her collar-in the crowd that admired her? When I said that Kitty had studs or brush her lapels; now, in my reveries, I did what I no young man (for I had found this out, early on, amongst longed to do then - I leaned to place my lips upon the edges the pieces of her history) Davy said that I should bring her of her hair; I slid my hands beneath her coat, to where her home, and introduce her to my handsome brother - though breasts pressed warm against her stiff gent's shirt and rose he only said it when Rhoda was near, to tease her. When I to meet my strokings .. .
    spoke of brewing her pans of tea and tidying her table, And all this - which left me thick with bafflement and Mother narrowed her eyes: 'She's doing all right out of you pleasure - with my sister at my side! All this with Alice's by the sound of it. It's a little more help with the tea and the breath upon my cheek, or her hot limbs pressed against tables we could do with, from you, home here . . .'
    mine; or with her eyes shining cold and dull, with starlight It was true, I suppose, that I rather neglected