To Honor by D.F. Krieger Read Free Book Online

contained the aloof anger that she’d clung so tightly to the first few days. “You were so distant. I sometimes wondered if you even cared that our baby died.”
    A stab of pain shot through him at the words. Even now he couldn’t quite cope with the knowledge. His body began shaking, a familiar companion lately. It wasn’t until recently that he’d discovered from Sherman that the shaking was a physical indicator of high amounts of stress or repressed emotion. Derek decided to take it as a sign.
    “I thought I lost both of you. When I got to the hospital, three days had already passed. You were still in a coma and our daughter…” He swallowed the lump in his throat and sent a silent prayer that he wouldn’t start crying. “They couldn’t give me a definite answer on whether or not you would ever wake up. I couldn’t stand it. I guess I shut down because it was the only way I could keep going. What I wanted to do was find the room of the driver who caused all this. I wanted to drag them into your room so they could see what they’d done to you, then show them Astridea. I—I—”
    “Breathe,” Sherman instructed gently.
    Derek gasped for air, dragging each breath in through sheer willpower as he fought the sobs back. His body continued to shake and he could see the corded muscles on his forearms starting to stand out. He made an effort to unclench his hands, and he wondered for a moment just when he had clenched them to begin with.
    When Evelyn put her hand on his arm, he blinked a few times to be sure it was really even there. The warmth of her touch, soothing and familiar, infused his skin like a healing balm. The shaking subsided, stopped and once more he was able to take a breath.
    “I’m here.” Her words, so soft, sounded almost like a question.
    He raised his gaze and met hers. Worry dominated her features; her brow wrinkled, eyes brimming with unshed tears and lips set in a grim line. Was she worried that he didn’t want her here? How could she even doubt after what he’d just said? “I’m glad,” he replied.
    Relief tugged at him as her brow smoothed and her mouth softened. “My arms feel so empty without her,” Evelyn admitted. “I can’t look at anyone who has a baby without hating them and I know it’s not right. I know they don’t deserve it, but I see them with their children, healthy and alive, and for a moment I am filled with hate.”
    Derek stood and pulled his wife to her feet. “I can’t fill the gap in your heart that misses our baby. I’ve got a huge hole in mine too. But I know my arms are also empty, and the only one who can fill them is my wife.” He urged her into a hug, and was thrilled when she allowed him to wrap his arms around her.

 
     
    Chapter Nine
     
     
    Evelyn smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of her pants and blouse. Her stomach performed flip-flops as she stared down at her feet and let out a sigh. How was she supposed to be appealing in the footwear area if all she had available were non-slip socks or her tennis shoes, minus laces? Every step involved a shuffle in the shoes, just to keep the damn things on. And the socks…well that just wasn’t going to cut it for today.
    I will not cry over something this stupid. Evelyn repeated the mantra in her head as she approached the nurse’s station. “I’m ready, I guess.” She offered Sandra a smile that she knew looked half-hearted at best.
    “Oh, that’s not a happy face. Aren’t you excited?” Sandra put the paperwork down she was filing and frowned at Evelyn. “Do you want to cancel?”
    “No, I…” Evelyn shifted, painfully aware of her appearance. “I look stupid,” she finished lamely.
    Sandra stepped out from behind the counter and look Evelyn over from head to feet. When her gaze reached the shoes, she tapped a finger against her chin. “The blouse and pants are pretty, so it must be the shoes you’re upset about.”
    Evelyn nodded, misery at her embarrassing situation causing her