Too Many Curses by A. Lee Martinez Read Free Book Online Page B

duties.
    Today was Polishing Day. It only came around every few weeks, but it was one of her favorites. There was nothing quite like shining silver and buffing brass and seeing her reflection in the gleaming metal. The mere thought was enough to push aside her vexation.
    Sir Thedeus and Echo took off on the task of spreading the story of their close encounter with the Door. Many, if not all, of the castle's residents lived for these sorts of tales. Boredom was a constant nuisance when one lived only in aportrait or as a statue or at the bottom of a deep, dark pit. Though the castle had hundreds of inhabitants, most called only a small part of it home, a chamber or two if they were fortunate.
    On her way to the kitchen, Nessy stopped by her room (not truly a room, but more a corner in a large hallway) to speak briefly with the monster (less a ghastly beast and more a grumpy imp) that lived under her bed (more accurately a worn cot).
    "Where were you last night?" The monster glared with its three eyes. Nessy had never seen more of it than those glassy, gray eyes.
    "The Door At The End Of The Hall was proving mischievous."
    "Are you okay?"
    "Perfectly fine. I just wanted to let you know."
    "As if I'd worry." His angry eyes softened. "But since you're not dead, you will be coming by tonight, won't you?"
    "Barring any foolishness with the castle's other doors, yes."
    "Good. I found a new book. I hope it's a good one." A small book slid from the darkness under the cot.
    It was very dark under her bed, and he was dependent upon her to read to him. She enjoyed skimming a chapter or two before retiring as well. She couldn't imagine where the monster got these books as he never left the shelter of her cot, but it was a varied selection. Stories of romance, adventure, horror. Travelogues of distant lands. A manualon carpentry, another on how to improve yourself and win companions.
    She leaned over and glanced at the latest offering. "It has a princess on the cover."
    The monster blew a raspberry.
    "There's a barbarian, too."
    "Does he have a sword? If he has a sword, it might be good. Unless he's kissing her. If he's kissing her, it's going to be stupid."
    "No, he's got an ax."
    "Ax, eh? That's a twist."
    "And there's a monster, too."
    He chuckled. "I hope it's a dragon. I love it when they kill dragons. Pretentious reptiles, think they're so special just 'cause they can breathe fire and fly. Like that's so great. Is it a dragon?"
    "Let's not ruin it." Nessy threw the book back under the bed and continued on her way.
    Her breakfast was always the same: two biscuits, three slices of ham, and a tall glass of milk and honey. Mister Bones had it all prepared, the table set, by the time she walked through the kitchen door. The skeleton got her stool for her.
    "Thank you."
    Decapitated Dan sat quietly on the spice rack. He was not a morning person. It was only in the afternoon that he grew energetic enough to rant on madly.
    Mister Bones, ever the thoughtful fellow, had an extra plate of ham and biscuits for the nurgax. Nessy had almostforgotten the beast because it followed so obediently and so quietly. The nurgax gulped down its meal and belched. She was about to eat her own when a black owl, gray mouse clutched in its talons, flew into the room and landed on the table.
    "A new day necessitates Nessy nibble on nourishment," said Olivia.
    "Yes, good thinking."
    Morton scampered to the edge of the plate. "Terrible news. The Vampire King, he's dead."
    "Of course he's dead. He's a vampire." Nessy tossed the bird and rodent a piece of bread.
    The meal distracted Morton for a moment. He tried speaking with his mouth full and made little sense.
    "Unquestionably undead," said Oliva. "But a big beast brutalized the bell-ridden being with such salacious savagery that the King's continued corporeality could be called into question."
    Nessy was in the middle of dissecting Olivia's sentence when Morton sped things along with a translation.
    "Some giant