Trust the Focus by Megan Erickson Read Free Book Online

tapped away on his phone, smiling that shy smile he got when reading e-mails from his boyfriend.
    “Jud?” I said, the name like a bite of rotten apple in my mouth.
    “Huh?” Landry said, not looking up.
    “You sending some shots to Jud or something?”
    Landry looked at me, blinking. “Oh! Yeah, I sent him one. Let him know we’re doing okay.”
    I didn’t know why I kept asking questions. Maybe I had a streak of masochist in me. “You miss him?”
    By now the sun had gone down, his face only illuminated by passing cars. “Sure.”
    “Sure?”
    “Well, we’re busy, Justin. I mean, even when we’re driving, I’m thinking about our blog and where we’re going next and the routes we need to take. So I’m not thinking about him.”
    I stared out the window, the white center lines flashing by Sally’s tires. I wondered if the roles were reversed and he was on a road trip with Jud, would he think of me?
    But all I said was, “Yeah, I guess we are busy.”
    He propped his bare feet on Sally’s dashboard, and I knew I’d never be able to sit in the driver’s seat without picturing him sitting there, bobbing the balls of his feet on the panel, singing along to Fall Out Boy.
    He tapped away on his phone. “So, did you know that Idaho’s state horse is the Appaloosa?”
    “They have a national horse?”
    “And they have a lot of softwood trees.” He snickered. “Softwood.”
    I snickered along with him.
    “And they have wolves and bears.”
    “Oh.”
    He tucked his chin and looked up at me through his lashes in classic Landry-flirting style. “Pups, cubs, and bears, oh my!”
    I knew what he was referencing, but I wasn’t going to fess up to it. “What’s that about?”
    He grinned and shoved my shoulder. “C’mon. You know, stereotypes the gay culture has invented for itself.”
    “What are you?”
    He scrunched his lips. “Um, I don’t know. I guess a twink? Maybe when I actually grow up a little bit, get some hair on my chest, I’ll be a cub. Find me a nice, big bear.”
    Some big, muscular dude with his paws all over Landry? Oh no. “I’m not hairy enough to be a bear,” I grumbled, the words out before I could stop them. I resisted clapping my hands over my mouth to draw attention to it.
    Landry’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “What did you just say?”
    “Um . . .”
    “How did you know what bears were like? You seem well versed in something you know nothing about.”
    “I think I heard you talk about them before.”
    “I don’t think so.”
    “I don’t know. God, get off my back. I just assumed because bears are like, really hairy. And big. Like the animal.”
    Landry squinted at me. “Uh-huh.”
    “Stop.”
    “Pups and cubs are hairy animals, too.”
    “Landry.”
    “Just saying, your logic is flawed.”
    Again with the fucking grilling. “I’m a good guesser.”
    He didn’t take his eyes off my face, but I pointed to something on the side of the road and he dropped the subject.
    ***
    A couple of hours later we crossed into Idaho and pulled over at a rest stop. I parked and then folded out the bed and undressed. I flopped down on my stomach, my back killing me from the strain of manhandling the massive RV. Landry sat on the edge of the bed, clicking away on his keyboard, the only light in the cabin glowing from his screen.
    “What are you doing?” I said out of the corner on my mouth, the other side smooched into my pillow. I didn’t have the energy to raise my head.
    “Oh, just a blog post. The pictures look great.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Definitely.”
    I realized I hadn’t even looked at them yet. He’d showed me the blog design and I approved but that’s about it. I told him I wanted control over which pictures of my dad’s urn he posted, but he could do or post anything else he wanted. “What are you writing in those posts, anyway?”
    “Just about our trip. Where we are. What we’ve done so far. We get comments. Mia e-mailed me to tell you she’s