Twisted by Emma Chase Read Free Book Online Page B

sweetheart?”
    “Where do babies come from?”
    Drew doesn’t even hesitate. “God.”
    I got the basics when I was eleven. My mother took the “stay
    my little girl forever and don’t ever have sex” approach. Amelia
    Warren, on the other hand, was more than willing to fill in the
    gaps. She wanted her daughter Delores and me informed. And pre-
    pared. By the time we were thirteen, we could get a condom on a
    banana faster than any hooker on the strip.
    Whatever you do, don’t let your kids learn about procreation
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    from “The Video.” Finding out about the birds and the bees is a lot like finding out there’s no Santa—kids are bound to figure it out
    eventually, but it’ll go down much easier coming from you.
    Mackenzie nods and goes back to her guitar. Until . . .
    “Uncle Drew?”
    “Yes, Mackenzie?”
    “The baby grows in the mommy’s tummy, right?”
    “More or less.”
    “how does that happen . . . exactly?”
    Drew rubs his fingers over his lips, thinking it over.
    And I hold my breath.
    “Well, you know when you’re painting? And you mix blue and
    red together? And you get . . .”
    “Purple!”
    “Excellent, yes, you get purple. Babies are kind of like that. A
    little blue paint from the daddy, some red paint from the mommy,
    shake it all together, and boom—you get a whole new person.
    hopefully not purple, but if Aunt Delores is involved? Anything
    is possible.”
    Delores gives Drew the finger behind Mackenzie’s back.
    Mackenzie nods. And goes back to strumming her guitar. For
    one whole minute.
    “Uncle Drew?”
    “Yep?”
    “how does the daddy’s blue paint get to the mommy’s red
    paint?”
    Drew raises both eyebrows. he stutters, “how . . . how does
    it . . . get there?”
    Mackenzie gestures with her hand. “Well, yeah. Does the doc-
    tor give her a shot of blue paint? Does the mommy swallow the
    blue paint?”
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    Matthew snickers. “Only if the daddy is a very lucky guy.”
    Delores smacks him on the head. But Mackenzie’s round blue
    eyes stay on Drew, waiting for an answer.
    he opens his mouth.
    And then closes it.
    he starts again.
    And then stops.
    Finally, like cannon-balling into a pool on the first day of spring, he takes the plunge. “Well . . . the mommy and daddy have sex.”
    It’s official. Alexandra’s going to kill him. For real this time. I’m going to be a widow before I’m ever a wife.
    Mackenzie’s face rumples with confusion. “What’s sex?”
    “Sex is how babies get made.”
    She thinks about it a moment. And then she nods. “Oh. Okay.”
    Wow.
    And I thought the final exams in business school were hard.
    Drew handled that pretty well, don’t you think? he’s good
    with kids. Which makes sense, because in so many ways . . . he
    still is one.
    Alexandra walks into the room. She seems happy, now—now
    that she’s showed Steven that his “steel guns” can, in fact, be dented.
    She’s all glowy.
    “What are we doing in here?”
    Drew smiles innocently. “Talking about paint colors.”
    Alexandra smiles and strokes her daughter’s hair.
    As Mackenzie adds, “And sex.”
    Alexandra’s hand stops. “Wait . . . what?”
    Drew leans over and whispers in my ear, “We should probably
    leave the room now.”
    As the door swings closed behind us, we hear “Drew!” And
    Alexandra doesn’t sound so happy anymore.
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    At last, dinner is served. The actual eating of the meal is unevent-ful, but during dessert, Alexandra taps her glass with a spoon.
    “Everyone—can I have your attention, please?” She beams at
    Steven and then goes on. “Mackenzie has an announcement she’d
    like to make.”
    Mackenzie stands on her chair and proclaims, “My mom and
    dad had sex!”
    The entire table is silent.
    Until Matthew raises his glass. “Congratulations, Steven. It’s