Harvest by Steve Merrifield Read Free Book Online

Brian to dip into – plus a tea for
Amy.”
    “ Thanks. It means a lot
to me.”
    “ It’s only a casserole,”
Jenny joked weakly.
    Claire walked into the kitchen
and squeezed Jason’s shoulder affectionately as she passed. She had
a strange smile on her face, as if she didn’t know how to use her
face for that anymore. Claire leaned against Jenny in a lingering
hug and he suddenly remembered being in a school play and not
knowing his lines or where he should be standing.
    Claire’s flat seemed different
now, as if Emily not being there had changed the flat itself. It
had always been like a second home; the furniture and pictures were
familiar and held memories, but the place seemed alien and foreign
now. Somehow little things like the grain on the doors or the
pattern of the carpet seemed new, as if he was seeing them for the
first time although they were the same doors he had hidden behind
and it was the same floor he had rolled about on in play. It
reminded him of how it his own home had felt after his dad had
left. Jason realised that it was the missing person and the
feelings that he had about them that changed the place. The two
places where he could get away from his fears of school and forget
about the kids that picked on him and have fun had been ruined. His
world was getting smaller.
    The embrace of the adults was
disturbed as Amy stopped her playing in the lounge and dashed into
her bedroom. Jason watched his mum give Claire a questioning
look.
    “ I don’t know why she
keeps doing that. She never seems to settle. She runs from one room
to the next a couple of times a day. More frequently lately
though.”
    Jenny rubbed Claire’s arms
comfortingly.
    “ Jason, do you think you
could stop for a bit, play with Amy? Keep her company. Could be
what she needs.” Claire’s voice sounded strained –
desperate.
    He nodded, grateful for a
chance to escape from the grief that weighted the air between the
two adults. His mum explained she would go home and he could come
down whenever he wanted tea. He headed quickly to Amy’s room before
his mum could join Claire in crying. He didn’t know what to say or
do when his mum cried, it left him feeling powerless. She shouldn’t
be allowed to cry in front of him, and his insides twisted as soon
as he had thought it, feeling guilty for needing her to be strong
for him.
    He stood in the doorway to
Amy’s room and found her sitting cross-legged on Emily’s bed with
her back to him as she coloured in a picture. Emily’s absence left
a gaping hole in the room, and it seemed wrong to him that Amy had
been left behind to play and sleep in what was now a crime scene,
although Jason was unsure of what crime had been committed. It
wasn’t talked about in front of him – and on some level that he
would never admit to anyone, he was glad of the protection. But, it
was still her room.
    What must Amy be feeling? He
could hear his mum and Claire crying openly together as they parted
on the doorstep. It made him think of all those nights when his
parents had argued. Even now when he was trying to sleep at night
he could hear his mum sobbing through the thin walls. Lately Jason
didn’t know if it was because she missed his dad or because of what
had happened to Emily. His mind strayed into a place in his
imagination that he avoided going, where he imagined what life
would be like without his mum: his dad hadn’t been back or called
since he had left; they didn’t even know where he was now. Jason’s
granddad was old and had cancer and was in and out of hospital, and
every time he was admitted his mum told Jason how long happy and
full a life his granddad had had, but his life now was painful and
unhappy – preparing Jason for when he didn’t come back from
hospital. So Jason knew that if something happened to his mum, he
would be alone. Amy and her mum and dad must be realising something
that Jason had lived with for months; that family and the love and
protection it gave