Twittering from the Circus of the Dead

Twittering from the Circus of the Dead by Joe Hill Read Free Book Online

Book: Twittering from the Circus of the Dead by Joe Hill Read Free Book Online
Authors: Joe Hill
Twittering from the Circus of the Dead
    What is Twitter?
    â€œTwitter is a service for friends, family, and co-workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? . . . Answers must be under 140 characters in length and can be sent via mobile texting, instant message, or the Web.”
    â€”from twitter.com
    TYME2WASTE I’m only trying this because I’m so bored I wish I was dead. Hi Twitter. Want to know what I’m doing? Screaming inside.
    8:17 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE My, didn’t that sound melodramatic.
    8:19 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Lets try this again. Hello Twitterverse. I am Blake and Blake is me. What am I doing? Counting seconds.
    8:23 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Only about 50,000 more until we pack up and finish what is hopefully the last family trip of my life.
    8:25 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE It’s been all downhill since we got to Colorado. And I don’t mean on my snowboard.
    8:27 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE We were supposed to spend the break boarding and skiing but it’s too cold and won’t stop snowing so we had to go to plan B.
    8:29 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Plan B is Mom and I face off in a contest to see who can make the other cry hot tears of rage and hate first.
    8:33 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE I’m winning. All I have to do to make Mom leave the room at this point is walk into it. Wait, I’m walking into the room where she is now . . .
    8:35 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE She’s such a mean bitch.
    10:11 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE @caseinSD, @bevsez, @harmlesspervo yay my real friends! I miss San Diego. Home soon.
    10:41 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE @caseinSD Hell no I’m not afraid Mom is going to read any of this. She’s never going to know about it.
    10:46 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE After she made me take down my blog, it’s not like I’m ever going to tell her.
    10:48 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE You know what bitchy thing she said to me a couple hours ago? She said the reason I don’t like Colorado is because I can’t blog about it.
    10:53 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE She’s always saying the Net is more real for me and my friends than the world. For us nothing really happens till someone blogs about it.
    10:55 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Or writes about it on their Facebook page. Or at least sends an instant message about it. She says the internet is “life validation.”
    10:55 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Oh and we don’t go online because it’s fun. She has this attitude that people socially network ’cause they’re scared to die. It’s deep.
    10:58 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE She sez no one ever blogs their own death. No one instant-messages about it. No one’s Facebook status ever says “dead.”
    10:59 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE So for online people, death doesn’t happen. People go online to hide from death and wind up hiding from life. Words right from her lips.
    11:01 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Shit like that, she ought to write fortune cookies for a living. You see why I want to strangle her. With an ethernet cable.
    11:02 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE Little bro asked if I could blog about him having sex with a certain goth girl from school to make it real, but no one laughed.
    11:06 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE I told Mom, no, the reason I hate Colorado is ’cause I’m stuck with her and it’s all waaaaay too real.
    11:09 PM – 28 Feb from Tweetie
    TYME2WASTE And she said that was progress and got this smug bitch look on her face and then Dad threw down his book & left the

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