Two of a Kind by Yona Zeldis McDonough Read Free Book Online

we’re going to do.” For the next fifteen minutes, he outlined a plan. Pending the results of the pelvic exam and the sonogram—he needed to see whether there was any residue from the last pregnancy—he would urge her to begin trying again, using an ovulation predictor to speed the process along. Once she was pregnant, he’d stitch her cervix until it was as tight as a cork in an unopened bottle of wine. Then he’d place her on total bed rest. The only thing she would be allowed to do would be to come—in a taxi—to see him. Would it be an ordeal? You bet, he told her. But at the end of it, she would have her baby.
    â€œYou’ll take up knitting,” he told her as he escorted her to the examination room. “Or read
The Magic Mountain
.
In German.” This elicited a smile. “Why don’t you have a seat in the waiting room?” he told Bob. “We won’t be long.”
    Andy waited the requisite few minutes while Beth undressed and put on the blue paper gown; after Pam, the technician, completed the sonogram, he went in, scrubbed his hands, and donned the latex gloves. The instruments had been warmed and he kept his tone genial, conducting the exam with such delicacy that he actually had her smiling while her feet were in the stirrups.
    Beth got off the table, dressed, and came into his office while Joanne got Bob from the waiting room. “Everything looks good,” Andy said. “The sonogram was all clear.” He could see how their faces began to open, like flowers in the sun. Once they were gone, Andy saw his unfinished muffin and juice still sitting there. He dumped the muffin, drained the juice, and pulled out the next file. By lunchtime, he was ravenous and he had Joanne order him a tofu platter and a cup of gazpacho, both of which were consumed at his desk. Andy scrupulously watched what he ate and was proud that in his mid-forties he still weighed 178 pounds, the same as he had the day he graduated from college.
    While he ate, he scanned the messages on his phone. Here was one from Cunningham, whom he’d contacted even before coming to the office. One was from his mother and another from his old buddy Gavin Rothberg; he hadn’t talked to Gavin in ages. And look, here was a message from that decorator he’d met at the wedding, Christina Connelly. Now, he had never expected to hear from
her
. His verdict? Classy but cold. Icy, even. Still, he did need some work done on the apartment. He’d call her tomorrow.
    The last message was the best of all, a flirtatious text from Jennifer Baum, the sexy little blonde he’d been dating for the past few months. He smiled when he thought of Jen. Her text was brief.
See u 2nite? Planning what NOT to wear.
XOXO.
Obvious, yes. But effective too. He quickly texted her back.
    Lunch finished, he launched into the next phase. First he phoned Cunningham and managed to smooth things over at least enough so that Oliver could go on the retreat. Oliver was happy when he got the text letting him know, but Andy understood this was just a Band-Aid. As a condition of allowing Oliver to go on the trip, Cunningham had insisted on a meeting in his office next week: the school psychologist and Andy would be in attendance as well. “We won’t exactly call it an intervention,” Cunningham had said. “But that’s what it is.”
Oh
great,
thought Andy. Still, an
intervention
—a bullshit term if there ever was one—was better than a
suspension
or an
expulsion
. Then Andy headed over to New York Hospital, on East Sixty-eighth Street. On the way, he called his mother. She answered on the first ring.
    â€œI went shopping today,” she announced. “That
gonif
at the Food Emporium charged me the regular price for the cheese; the sharp cheddar was supposed to be on special this week.”
    â€œYou don’t have to worry about money, Ma,” he said gently. “You know