this? Where did you get it?” she whispered, accusingly.
“From the guy whose name you can’t remember!” I said, grabbing it out of her hands.
“Have you two…? Did he…touch you?” she asked, sounding more angry than usual.
“Touch me? What are you talking about?
She was flipping through the book and held it open and said, “This! I’m talking about this! Did you and Kellan have sex?”
“NO! How could you even ask that?”
“It’s all here in black and white. Why did he buy this for you if you two weren’t behaving…inappropriately?” She was still whispering so my social worker couldn’t hear us, but her eyes were filled with fury.
“He bought it for me because YOU never talk to me about this stuff. You never told me that I was going to start having periods…you never tell me anything!”
“You’re too young to hear about all of that. It’s dirty and sinful!”
“Well, I’m not too young to be having periods, and thanks to you, Kellan had to try and explain it all to me…so he bought me this book because he knew you’d never tell me anything!” I shouted, for once not caring if my social worker heard me or not. I didn’t have Kellan anymore, and I realized I suddenly didn’t care if they shipped me off to somewhere else, because without Kellan, I didn’t care what happened to me.
“You listen to me, if you make another sound, or if you make a scene, I’ll make sure you go to one of those…”
“I don’t care. Send me off…PLEASE!” I shouted, tired of her threats.
She stood up tall and straightened her dress. “I see. Well, then I guess we’re an impasse here. I don’t really care if you’re here or not, but frankly I’ve grown accustomed to the money the state gives us for you, so you’re staying.”
“Not if I make a scene,” I threatened.
“You may not care what happens to you, but I know you care about what happens to Kellan.” She glared down at me and spat, “If you make a scene, if you tell her anything other than you’re a happy, healthy, well-cared-for kid, I’ll make sure to tell them that Kellan and you were more than friends. Got it?”
“What does that mean?” I asked, not understanding her threat.
She grabbed the book from me again and opened it up to the page explaining sex and she pointed, “This! I’ll tell them that Kellan did this to you…and they’ll put him in jail.”
“But, it’s not true. Kellan never touched me!”
“Who do you think they’re going to believe, me, or him ?”
“Kellan’s free of you. You can’t hurt him anymore.”
“He’s an adult now, and you’re still a minor. So, if I tell them that you and he were together, then they’ll have to check it out. And you can trust me on this…I will file charges…and he will go to jail!”
“You’re awful! Why are you so mean? What did Kellan ever do to make you hate him?”
“Just do what you’re told…that’s all you need to know!” she snapped and started to walk out of my room with my book.
“That’s my book!” I said, angry that she was taking away something Kellan had given to me.
“Not anymore. This is smut!”
“It’s not either…and it’s mine.”
“You can have it back when you’re 18…in another four years!”
She walked out of my room and I sat down on my bed. I wanted to call Kellan and tell him. He told me to call him if I had any problems. I didn’t want to bother him, but I grabbed the phone he’d sent me and ran down the hall to the bathroom. I dialed his number, but he didn’t answer, so I dialed his home phone but got the answering machine:
Hi, you’ve reached Kellan and Brianna’s phone.
We must be busy. Leave a message after the Beep!
Brianna’s soft, happy voice irritated me and I shut my phone and stuck it in my back pocket. I knew it was time to face the music, so I ran back to my room and put on one of my new shirts and the new jeans