Undead and Unwary by MaryJanice Davidson Read Free Book Online

and being all clueless and everything.”
    “Thanks.”
    “But now you’ve got the focus of a Lasik machine. It’s awe inspiring!” He was leaning against the counter, absently rubbing Purell into his hands. We kept a gallon-sized jug of it by the main sink. “And a little terrifying.”
    “All right, time to move on.” Argh, I had been so close to a clean getaway. And now this . I turned to face him. “Look, I was never the kid you were.”
    “The kid I was?” Marc asked, blinking in surprise. Apparently he’d been expecting a different reaction. “You never knew me as a kid.”
    “Yeah, but even without knowing you as a kid I know you were into D&D, and you’d pay extra money to watch Star Wars in a theater when you could get it for free pretty much anywhere on the Web, and you gobbled up the Game of Thrones books like they were—were—”
    “Iced milk and raspberries?” he prompted.
    I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. Like that. And it’s cool and it’s one of the things that makes you you , but I wasn’t like that. D&D made me long for the peace of a coma or a concussion or anything to get out of figuring charisma points. Not only have I never seen a Star Wars movie in a theater, I didn’t think the Phantom Menace stuff was so bad and—see? You’re shuddering. You’re making my point that we don’t have much in common.”
    “Okay, we’re going to circle back to your Phantom Menace blasphemy, but for now, I don’t see how you can judge how I was as a kid based on . . . oh, hell, as much TV as we’ve watched together, and the movies I dragged you to—”
    “Those Riddick movies are the worst.”
    “Shut up, don’t talk about Vin like that; but it’s not about whether you were into sci-fi or fantasy as a teenager. Doesn’t matter if you loved it or hated it, you know there’s magic. It’s not even a question of faith; you know magic exists. And you know you can do it.”
    “I don’t,” I replied shortly, “and I can’t. Vampires aren’t magical. Neither are werewolves. Something happens to vampires when they ‘die’—their systems slow down and as a result of that, they develop other abilities. Werewolves, they’re another species, it’s not magic. It’s biology that most people don’t know about. Hell isn’t magic, it’s another dimension, one I know fuck-all about. If anything, all this stuff is science , which was never my best subject.”
    He was nodding along with my terse lecture, but I could tell I wasn’t swaying him. “All that stuff aside, Betsy, you recently discovered you can teleport . That you can break a whole bunch of laws of physics for funsies. You were already strong and fast and durable—”
    “Please stop making me sound like a four-pack of double-A batteries.”
    “Okay, sorry. But you were already in a great position to explore all the cool things that happened to you, and now, presto, change-o, you can teleport.”
    “Only the one time,” I mumbled. And yes. I heard the lameness in that comment.
    Marc ignored me, probably wisely. “This is an ability that many people would be thrilled to have, every single person living in this house included.” His face had lit up and he was waving his arms around in his excited agitation. “Why wouldn’t you be all over that?”
    “Because nothing’s free, Marc.” I crossed the kitchen until I was right in front of him and caught his flailing hands. Held them in my own, made sure he was looking at me and listening, really listening. “And some things—even if you can pay for them, maybe you shouldn’t.”
    “What you’re doing now,” he said gently, shifting my grip—I let him—until he was gripping my wrists, “isn’t working.”
    I stared at him. Yikes, was he bringing the zombie mojo or something? Was that even a thing? I couldn’t look away. “It’s the only thing I’ve got right now,” I finally said, and he let go of my wrists and turned to the sink.
    “Not the only thing. And if you