Unholy: The Unholys MC by Ellen Harper Read Free Book Online Page A

always been tougher than the rest.”
     
    I nodded my head. “Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t worry.” But I did.
     
    “Speaking of Johnny…” My mother’s smile turned sly. “How are things between you two?”
     
    I glanced back towards the TV screen because I didn’t want to tell her the truth. How was I supposed to explain that I felt like I didn’t even know him sometimes, but that I loved him still? How was I supposed to tell her that I wanted him desperately, but didn’t think I could bring myself to have him like I had before, because I was worried about the violence and the gore?
     
    So instead I said, “Good. I hate these late nights though. I can’t help but worry.”
     
    “Oh, honey, is that what’s bothering you?” Mom asked me, sympathy lacing through her tone.
     
    It wasn’t, not exactly, but I let her think that. “A little. I just keep thinking that one day I’ll come home and—”
     
    I stopped. Six months ago I’d made a promise to myself that I would never discuss the night my father had died with anyone. It held true and I couldn’t let it go. It terrified me and there were nights where it still haunted my dreams. Johnny said I should talk about it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to relive the images that swam through my head. It was just too much.
     
    I’d come close to telling her about it now, though. I hadn’t meant to, but once I started talking about Johnny and the things he did at night, the dangerous things that were part of the club business, I couldn’t help but associate him with my dad’s death. Not in the sense that I believed he caused it, but rather that I was scared on some level that I would have to repeat that death with Johnny.
     
    Cold swept through me and I felt a little sick. It took everything I had to stay calm on the outside even as my insides wrapped around themselves and tried to eat me alive. My palms were sweaty, but I resisted the urge to rub them on my pants to dry them off.
     
    I realized how true it was that I actually was worried about Johnny tonight. I realized that I hated not knowing where he was or what he was doing, and I was terrified of coming home to find him dead just like I had my father. Whatever might be wrong with our relationship right then, I knew that I loved him and that I couldn’t lose him. Not like that.
     
    My mother must have sensed what I was going to say, because she put her arm comfortingly on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “It’ll be okay, honey.”
     
    I shook her off; I didn’t want to acknowledge things in any way if I could help it, so I focused on the here and now instead. “It’s fine. I don’t know why we watch this show anyway.”
     
    Evidently deciding that she wasn’t going to get anything more out of me, Mom agreed that the show was stupid and shifted topics. Sort of. She stuck with the topic of Johnny, but at least it was no longer focused on how that was bothering me.
     
    “When’s the wedding anyway?”
     
    My head jerked in her direction, my eyes wide. “The what ?” Wedding? What wedding? I was sure that someone would have mentioned something to me about a wedding if there really was going to be one, but I hadn’t heard a damn thing. Not a single, solitary thing, and if Johnny had been talking to my mother about it behind my back, so help me god, I’d—
     
    She laughed, bright and full of life. Saucy, people called that laugh. “Oh, calm down, honey. I’m only teasing.”
     
    Teasing. I glared at her fiercely even as a twinge of disappointment trickled through my system. “Not funny, Mom.”
     
    Her grin suggested that she still felt like it was. “I’m only asking what everyone wants to know.”
     
    I folded my arms across my chest. “Well, then you get the same answer that everyone else gets: none of your damn business!”
     
    My mother held up her hands in surrender, but she didn’t really mean it. “Is it wrong for a mother to ask when you and