lucky one. Though I don’t think I deserve her, my heart has already picked her.”
My next question comes out like a thief in the night making my face scorch in heat. “What’s her name?” I’m shamelessly fishing.
“Wildflower.” His sad voice almost brings tears to my eyes.
Then he helps me up, not giving me another second to volley yet another question as he leads me down the steps and into the car. His answer shocks me . . . it shocks my heart, realizing what it means should excite me but reality is like a thick glacier, freezing my heart shut.
His heart picks me! But as I replay everything he said, I know there could never be an ‘us’.
The car door opening disrupts my reverie as Travis drives us to our favorite bistro around Dupont Circle after which I’m whisked away back to the residence. My home where I’m far away from everyone, including him.
Denial —I’ve never denied my feelings for him, not once. Why should I? It has been the most real feeling I’ve ever felt for anyone. And while he can deny it all he wants, it’s a feeling that strengthens in time, no matter how much I want to weaken it.
Acceptance —It’s probably time for me to acknowledge that our relationship will forever be that of protector and protected. Nothing more. If accepting our stalemate situation is hard, it’s even more merciless when you factor in that it’s not one sided.
DAMIEN
I wake up with a heavy heart, heavier than normal because for the past month I’ve had to watch what she’s doing to herself because of me until I get my approval.
I know she’s showing me that she loves her job just as I do mine. I don’t think she’ll understand my need to do my job and be with her. My two worlds are colliding and not meshing. Maybe God intended for this to happen so I can finally pick one. Haven’t it been said one can’t serve two masters. I smirk at the thought since I’m a slave to my job and to Sophia.
My job defines me. It’s all I’ve ever known. It has shown me everything. Love for God and country has ruled my life until Sophia. Now, she is my life. I’ve made a choice and now . . . I wait.
I’m tying up my running shoes when my personal cell rings. Without looking at who’s calling, I answer only to be greeted by a loud breather on the other end. I pull the phone from my ear and look at the number and press end. This has been happening a lot lately. A lot of hang ups, especially at this time of day. I send a quick text to Brian to scan of my phone to see who my mystery caller is.
I run my regular six miles to clear my head, though it doesn’t distract me from the decision I’ve already made. As painful as it is, it needs to be done. I’ll sacrifice something once again, though it really isn’t one. With sweat running all over my body, my mind is solely focused on my Wildflower and what I’m about to do.
My personal cell buzzes against my leg prompting me to stop. I’m gasping for air as I pull my phone from my pocket. “H. .Hello.”
“Uh . . . I’m not disturbing anything, am I?” Brian asks.
“No. I’m running if you must know. It’s my day off.”
“Whoever’s calling you is using a pre-paid phone. I can’t trace it, man. Are you sure it’s not some broad you’ve pissed off?”
“Nah. Thanks anyway. How’s everything over there?”
“Everything’s good, man. The girls are planning a mini-vacation to your neck of the woods this summer. But I’ll let your sister break it down for you. Just act surprised, alright?”
“Right. Later, man.”
I miss my family back home. With everyone having babies and enjoying their family life, I just feel out of place though they’ve never make me feel that way. Memories, they never leave me . . . the good, the bad, even the ugly; I welcome them with open arms. My walk down memory lane literally stops when I’m suddenly hit by a small body attaching to mine.
“Hey, handsome.” Nicole’s smile puts me on the
Sally Fallon, Pat Connolly, Phd. Mary G. Enig