Up In A Heaval by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online Page A

spell, but now was generally known. Its sides were sheer, so that creatures who got into it had trouble getting out, and the dread Gap Dragon cruised the bottom, steaming and gobbling what it caught.
    “Steaming?” Umlaut asked.
    Yes, steaming. Dragons were of three general types: fire breathers, smokers, and steamers. The one in the Gap Chasm was Stanley Steamer. He could cook a creature with a single jet of steam and was one of the most fearsome dragons extant. Except when Princess Ivy was around; then he was tame.
    “You know Princess Ivy?” Umlaut asked, amazed.
    It turned out that Sammy knew just about everyone who was anyone. Jenny Elf had made many friends before she got married, so the cat had became acquainted with them too. He could find any of them, when he wanted to.
    It occurred to Umlaut that this could be a useful contact if they needed to meet any important people. But why would they need to? They were just doing an errand for Breanna of the Black Wave.
    The bird angled downward. There was a castle ahead. “That must be the Good Magician,” Umlaut said.
    Sammy sent him a superior look: What else could it be?
    Roy Roc touched down, bounced, slid, and ground to a spinning halt. It was not a pretty landing, and bits of zombie rot flew out, but they were safely down.
    “Thank you so much,” Umlaut said, scrambling out of the somewhat dented wicker cage. Sammy and Sesame were hardly slower about it.
    The bird nodded. Then he spread his wings, pumped more rot into the air, and squeezed out a takeoff. In a moment only the stench remained.
    “Well, he did get us here quickly,” Umlaut said. “We are surely duly grateful.”
    The others agreed. Now they addressed the castle. It looked considerably neater and cleaner than Castle Zombie, which was no surprise. The stone walls were firm, the pennants were bright, the moat was clear, and the drawbridge was down across it and looked firm and healthy. What a change—and what a relief.
    But something was wrong. When they approached the castle, it turned out to be made of cardboard. The moat was a painted disk, the walls were interlocked in jigsaw puzzle fashion, and the main gate was painted; it wouldn't open.
    “This is the Good Magician's Castle?” Umlaut asked Sammy.
    Sammy fidgeted. It turned out that he had not invoked his finding power, trusting the roc to know the way. And the roc had landed at the wrong castle.
    Umlaut sighed. Then he stepped across the moat and knocked on the painted door, “Anybody home?” he called.
    A much smaller door opened inside the big one. A young man's head popped out. “You like it anyway?”
    “It's cardboard!” Umlaut exclaimed.
    “Well, maybe I overreached. You see, my talent is to make any drawn thing become real. So this time I drew the Good Magician's Castle. But I guess there are limits, because when it got big, it stopped being solid. It's real, just not quite what I wanted.”
    “I guess you have to work on that some more,” Umlaut said. “We're looking for the real Good Magician's Castle.”
    “Oh that's just east of here. You can't miss it.” The door shut.
    They walked around the cardboard castle and went east. And came up against a raging river. It was plainly too violent for them to swim across. Even Sesame shrank back.
    Umlaut turned to Sammy. “Can you find help?”
    The cat bounded north. “Wait for us!” But Sammy wasn't good at waiting. Fortunately it was not far. They approached two girls who were having a picnic in a glade.
    The girls looked up, alarmed. Suddenly a mass of green Stuff appeared and shaped itself into a fence between Umlaut and the girls. He had to stop moving before he crashed into it.
    He recognized defensive magic. “We're not attacking you,” he called. “We're just looking for help to get across the river. I'm Umlaut, and these are my friends Sesame Serpent and Sammy Cat.”
    “Sammy!” one girl cried. The fence dissolved back into Stuff, which then disappeared. Sammy