Up In A Heaval by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online

nicely forwarded.”
    “The letter!” Breanna exclaimed in horror. “It must have insulted him. It's my fault for forwarding that missive. I should abase myself.”
    “Or go to the attic,” Umlaut suggested.
    “Attic?”
    “The basement is still sort of smelly. So maybe an attic is better than abasement.”
    She gave him a strange look, and he realized that he had spoken clumsily, again. “Maybe I should. Now we're all in deep bleep.”
    “Deep what?” the demoness asked.
    “Muck, manure, fertilizer, humus, dirt—”
    “Poop?”
    “Whatever,” Breanna Said crossly. “Hey, now you've got me doing it! I mean we're all in trouble. Because we didn't know what was in that letter.”
    “Interesting. Well, toodle-doo.” This time the demoness faded out too quickly to be stopped.
    Breanna shook her head. “What a mess!”
    Sesame and Sammy nodded agreement.

Xanth 26 - Up in a Heaval
    Chapter 3: CHALLENGES
    “Maybe I shouldn't have found that letter," Umlaut said, feeling guilty.
    “Maybe I shouldn't have forwarded it unopened,” Breanna said. “For sure, I'll check the others first. But right now we have a bad problem. I'll have to consult with the Good Magician to find out what to do about it. What a thing to happen when I'm still learning the zombie business.”
    A moderately dim bulb flashed over Umlaut's head. “We can do that,” he said.
    Distracted, Breanna didn't understand immediately. “Do what?”
    “Consult with the Good Magician. We can go there, so you won't have to. We—we have some responsibility in this matter too.”
    Breanna considered. “It's nobody's fault; it just happened. But we do need to do something. That Demon Jupiter is nobody to fool around with. Okay, if you want to go, then go ahead. But hurry. That spot won't take long to get here.”
    “Well, Sammy can surely find the castle, but it may take us several days to get there by foot.”
    “No time for that. I'll have Roy carry you.”
    “Who?”
    But she was already hurrying away to find Roy.
    Umlaut turned to the other two. “I thought you'd like to see the Good Magician's castle. But if you'd rather not, I can leave you here and do it myself. I'll give the answer to Breanna, then we can head out on our own adventure, just as we planned.”
    Both serpent and cat shook their heads. They wanted to come along.
    “I wonder who Roy is?” Umlaut asked. “Maybe a big horse or unicorn or something, who can run very fast.”
    Sammy looked past him and shuddered. Then Sesame did the same.
    “Well, maybe with a wagon, so we can ride in it.”
    They continued to stare and shudder. Finally Umlaut turned to follow their gazes.
    A giant bird was coming to a landing. “A roc!” he exclaimed. “We're going by air!”
    So why were they still shuddering?
    Then he saw the bird in more detail. It was a zombie roc. “Oh, no!” he breathed. But it was too late to say no.
    The three exchanged another glance. They shrugged. How bad could it be?
    There was a wicker cage at the roc's feet, large enough for them all. They got into it, Sesame curling around the bottom, Umlaut and Sammy sitting on her coils.
    There was a blast of foul air as the roc pumped his monstrous wings and lifted off the ground. Roy's flesh might be a bit rotten, but his flight feathers were evidently sufficient. Umlaut wrinkled his nose, and the two others nodded. None of them were keen on zombie power but had little choice at the moment. Certainly Umlaut was not about to comment openly and perhaps hurt the big bird's feelings and get dropped.
    They saw the Land of Xanth spread below them, like a disjointed carpet, with the blue sea on one side and a huge crevice on another. “What's that?” Umlaut asked, surprised.
    It turned out that Sammy Cat knew, having been there. They played the yes/no question game and gradually got the answer: That was the Gap Chasm, a huge cut across the center of Xanth that had been forgotten for eight hundred years, thanks to a forget