Upside Down Inside Out by Monica McInerney Read Free Book Online

pillows. She was reading what looked like a manuscript, he had a book in his hands. As Joseph watched, the man said something, a wry, deadpan look on his face. Penelope Keith threw back her head and laughed. The volume was down but Joseph could imagine the sound of her laughter.
    A rush of envy surprised him. That’s what was missing in his life these days. Fun. Laughs. Like Penelope Keith and this man, he thought. Sitting up in bed having a laugh together. Good friends. Having fun. Not taking their work too seriously …
    He suddenly laughed out loud. Oh, brilliant. Absolutely bloody brilliant. He was envious of some bloke in bed with Penelope Keith. Things were worse than he thought.
    I
    ‘They’re causing us trouble before they’re even born, Joseph. They’re not even a foot long yet. What the hell are they going to be like when they’re free, walking the earth? Marriage breakers, the pair of them.’
    Joseph shook his head at his friend. ‘George, I don’t believe a word of it. Last time we met you were over the moon about having twins and Lou was the best woman in the world. I don’t believe that much has changed in two months.’
    George took a sip of his pint then grinned, a little shamefaced. ‘It hasn’t. You’re right. I am happy about it, I really am. I just needed to vent some spleen. I was starting to feel like I was being buried under a pile of baby blankets. See, Lou was right. She said you’re good for me, you calm me down, she says.’
    ‘I’m glad. The Valium friend. Everyone needs one.’
    ‘No, she has a theory about you. She says that growing up without a father means you’re a nicer person. That you’ve been taught to respect women. Be kinder.’
    ‘Thank her for that, won’t you. I’ll be sure to let Kate know her divorce was the making of me.’
    ‘Well, it’s a theory, anyway. You know Lou and her theories.’
    ‘One for every occasion, as I recall,’ Joseph said with a grin. He liked Lou.
    ‘Where is your father these days? Lou was asking me that tonight and I couldn’t remember.’
    ‘Still in Australia, last I heard,’ Joseph said shortly. ‘Australia? So are you going to meet up with him while you’re there?’ Joseph shook his head. ‘No, it’s a business trip. I’ve no idea where he is anyway.’ ‘But aren’t you having a holiday after the conference? Couldn’t you track him down?’ ‘No need to. Another pint?’ George laughed. ‘Ah, that old Wheeler nifty change of subject. Sure, thanks. You know Dave Grey, old Boomer Boy from university, is living in Sydney now. You should look him up at least. I’ll email you his address, will I?’ ‘Great. Two pints, I’ll be back soon.’ A few minutes later Joseph returned with two brimming pint glasses, holding them high out of reach of the crowds in the busy Shoreditch bar. They talked about the latest soccer results for a while. Then George leaned back in his chair and fixed Joseph with a look. ‘So, that’s sport covered. Any women on the horizon?’ ‘Lou wants to know, doesn’t she?’ George gave him an innocent look. ‘She just wants you to be happy, Joseph. She’s always on to me about what a catch you are, how she’s got a whole line of friends waiting in the wings to meet you, just as soon as you give her the go-ahead. So, how about it?’ Joseph just laughed.
    George shook his head. ‘I told her you wouldn’t answer me. “We’re men, Lou,” I said to her. “We don’t talk about feelings, about our emotions, we talk about sport.” “What is it with you,” she asks me sometimes. “Are you made of stone? Are you granite man? Easter Island statue man?” “Of course I’ve got feelings, Lou,” I tell her. “All men have feelings. We just don’t go on about them as much as women do.” Bad mistake. Now she knows I’ve got some feelings she wants to hear about them all the time. Honestly, what is it with women, they say…’ Joseph waited for the rant to end.
    George stopped himself