Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas Read Free Book Online Page B

about was ritual. I had years of experiencing ritual as boring. So my early Tantra rituals were all the same: mudra aftermudra, very serious and very borrring. When I finally released my belief that rituals were dull and boring, I started creating wacky, crazy Tantric events with food and toys and loud music and laughter and no Sanskrit whatsoever. Suddenly people were telling me I was throwing the best rituals in town. And just as suddenly, people were telling me I was throwing the best sex parties in town! To be perfectly honest, I have not entirely banished this old belief about boring rituals. I still take a bit of convincing when someone invites me to a ritual. And sometimes I get lazy and lapse into repeating a ritual I’ve done before rather than creating something new. But I have learned that there’s very little more deadly to me than endless repetition. So when I’m tempted by the God of the Deadly Dull, I try to create something much more bizarre and perverted as a physical affirmation that I no longer choose to believe that rituals are supposed to be stultifying.

Do Some Affirmations
    Perhaps you use them now. Perhaps they are new to you. Perhaps you think they are silly New Age hokum. If the latter is true, please change your mind about that. Affirmations are very powerful and useful.
    An affirmation is a simple positive statement that you make about something that you want to create for yourself. It is stated in the present tense as though what you are affirming already exists in the present moment.
    “I love myself exactly the way I am.”
    “Everything is working out for my highest good and for the highest good of all concerned.”
    “I am safe.”
    “My income is constantly increasing.”
    Every thought you think is creating your future .
    If you’re thinking, “I’m fat, ugly, and broke, and I’m never going to find a partner,” that’s what you’re creating in your life. If, on the other hand, you affirm, “I am attractive, prosperous, and lovable, and I only attract loving people into my world,” you will begin to create that reality. Very simple. Very powerful.
    Throughout the remainder of this book, you will read example after example of affirmative language and behavior. You are completely in control of the style of language in the affirmations you wish to use. If you cannot imagine yourself saying, “Iam the source of my own love,” perhaps you could say, “My happiness is up to me.” If “I am a beautiful and loving person” makes you gag with self-consciousness, you might say, “I totally rock! I am a love magnet!” You get the idea. The point is that we must stop beating ourselves up with what we say. How many time a day do you hear yourself or someone else say something like “I can’t believe I did that. I am so stupid!” Or, when presented with the possibility of a raise or a promotion or a new lover: “Yeah, like that’ll actually happen!” So next time you hear yourself say or think something negative and insulting about yourself, try to stop, forgive yourself, and create its affirmative opposite: “I am intelligent, prosperous, loving, and loved.” Pretty soon you’ll notice that you’re treating yourself more gently and lovingly in all areas of your life.
    A basic premise of Tantra is self-acceptance. Another is self-love. With these, you can create or change anything in your life. Your mind is either your most powerful ally or your worst enemy. The choice is yours.
    How do you wish to use your mind?
    What is it you want in your life and in your sex?
    Will the thought you’ll think when you look up from this page be something you want to see happen in your life?
    Get clear on what you really want and start talking and acting like it already exists, because on some level it already does; it just may not have fully manifested yet. The thoughts you think today create your tomorrow—so when tomorrow comes, would you rather be greeted with your fondest dream or