Vacation by Jeremy C. Shipp Read Free Book Online

part when all my sins are supposed to melt away. When I feel at peace with the Universe(s). Instead, God’s robe and face dissipate, along with heaven, along with Aubrey. Along with any fanciful hope that I’m already dead.
    Now I’m in a garden with dozens of raised beds, side-by-side like uprooted coffins, and there’s no sky. Just giant orbs of light hanging from a ceiling of earth. I’m underground, or I’m in a cave, or I’m in an underground cave.
    Instead of God, here’s a woman about my age, a hypodermic needle at hand. She’s short with short hair and perfect skin, wearing dirty overalls. She trembles the needle into a plastic case, the sort you’d put eyeglasses in, and maybe that’s what they’re for. She does wear glasses.
    Her eyes wander and she picks at her lips with two fingers. She looks, above all, uncomfortable. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
    I know I’m in control of my body again, but this free man doesn’t move or speak.
    “You hate me,” she says.
    All I can think is, “You’re not my sister,” so that’s what I tell her.
    She looks me up and down with a bounce of her head. “You’re taller than I imagined you. I had your specs beforehand, mind you, but you were nevertheless shorter on my end of the communications.” She reaches in a large pocket that could swallow ten of her hands, and pulls out a tiny notebook with rings on the top. Her attempt to open the notebook with a flick of her hand fails, so she resorts to rotating the cover manually with her other hand. “This is a three step process. One, detoxification. Two, indoctrination. Many would rather me call this step enlightenment, but I have no problem with the word indoctrination. And three, assignment. After you complete these three steps, you’ll be free to go.” She twirls the notebook closed and stares at it. “In case you’re wondering, I don’t have a memory problem. I was already quite aware of the three steps. But as far as security blankets go, making lists is a worthwhile activity. In a sense, lists have the power to validate your existence and clearly define your identity in manifested terms. I list preferences and accomplishments. Dislikes and mistakes. What I find most beneficial, however, is when I accomplish a task or some good thing happens to me that doesn’t previously appear on any of my lists. Joy and contentment aren’t always enough. Sometimes you need unforeseen blessings to feel as if your life is a full one. Don’t you think?”
    “What is this place?”
    “The Garden.”
    “Outside of the garden.”
    “Even outside of the physical garden, this place is called the Garden.”
    “What’s the purpose of this place?”
    “That’s a very simplistic question, and therefore requires a very complex answer to be fully understood. You might as well ask someone, ‘What is the purpose of a house?’ You eat and sleep there. You store your belongings there. You might raise children there. In general, the Garden is a place filled with people, and sometimes we do what we want to do, and other times we do what we feel we need to do, even if it isn’t a want, per say.”
    “You can’t keep me here.”
    “Ah, I’m afraid I misspoke before. When I said you’d be free to go at a later date, I meant that at that point you’d be directed safely back to the hospital. You are not currently a prisoner here, in the most stringent definitions of the word. You would, however, die if you attempt to leave before the appointed time. Not by our hands. You’d get lost in the forest, and I know for a fact that you lack the necessary survival skills not to perish in this environment. I suppose one could hope that a set of instincts would awaken when needed, but I can’t believe that for two reasons. One, I’m a pessimist. Or a realist. The more I learn about reality, the less I’m able to distinguish between those two terms. And two, I’ve experienced firsthand what it’s like to be thrown into an