Venture Forward by Kristen Luciani Read Free Book Online

life.”
    “Opening old wounds won’t help me get c losure. I did what I had to for me, for you, for Mom. But I’m sure as hell not giving William the satisfaction of seeing me at his bedside. I don’t want him to think I give a good goddamn that he’s sick and close to death. The world doesn’t need a low-life piece of shit like him in it.”
    “Take some time and think about it. I’m not saying you need to hop a flight to Connecticut tomorrow. But don’t leave these feelings unresolved. You say you’ve blocked it all out, but that’s bullshit. It bleeds into every aspect of your life — the way you work, the way you deal with women, the way you shy away from anything that could compromise your control over a situation. It’s going to eat you alive.”
    “I don’t need one of your ten-cent therapy sessions. If you feel the need to say goodbye, fine. Get your closure and leave me out of it, okay?” Harrowing memories he’d laid to rest years ago suddenly consumed his consciousness, extinguishing all salacious thoughts of Avery. His breathing grew ragged as the disturbing images flashed through his mind. Suddenly, he was a teenager again, back in Connecticut, in the house of horrors. The events of that final day were forever seared into his memory. There was blood, so much blood. The din of the bar faded; all he heard were the sounds of shattering glass, the piercing screams, the— His pulse throbbed in his throat, and a sharp pain shot down his left arm. Fuck, he was about to have a panic attack. He tossed a few bills on the table. “I’ve got to go.”
    “I’m just trying to help. Don’t shut me out. If you need to talk—”
    “I won’t. Trust me. I know you’re only looking out for me, but I need to live my life my way.” He pressed his lips together and stalked out of the bar. Evan didn’t have any idea what he’d shielded him from all those years. He’d been too young to remember, and it had been a miracle William had left him alone.
    Paul grabbed his keys and jumped into the car, wheels screeching out of the parking lot as he floored the gas. The Bentley careened around the bend, the speed matching the pace of his heart. He released a labored breath and punched numbers into the dashboard.
    “Hello?”
    “Sami, it’s me. I need to see you. Now. ”
    “Mmm, okay.” Her voice sounded husky. “I’ll be waiting.”
     

     
    YOU LITTLE BASTARD! HOW dare you defy me like that! I’m gonna fucking kill you now!
    Paul awoke with a gasp, beads of sweat popping up on his forehead. Sami was sprawled next to him, naked, her long black hair cascading over the pillow. She was his temporary escape, nothing more. No headaches, no aggravation. Just rough, cold, detached sex, a physical release that momentarily rid him of the demons tirelessly hunting him.
    He leaned against the headboard, chest heaving. Sami had played her part perfectly and helped him bandage up the now-raw wounds. Dammit, why did Evan have to unlock all that shit again? He’d become an expert at compartmentalizing his life; he did it to survive.
    Careful not to disturb her, he crept out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. The face staring back in the mirror was pale and drawn. Tortured. He steadied his shaky arms on the sink as the breathing eased. Harsh words that spewed from his lips the night before were back to besiege him. I have everything I could possibly want. I’ve moved on. I don’t need closure. I’m just fine. Each statement was a bigger lie than the last.
    He had to get out.
    Sami had given him a well-needed diversion, but it was only a break from the painful reality that was his life. He grabbed his jeans and yanked them on. Evan was only looking out for him. It wasn’t fair to unleash all that anger and then walk away, but that was the person he’d become, a cold-hearted bastard desperate for every ounce of control he could grasp. In his mind, control was the only thing that could make him whole, and anyone