Waiting for Grace by Hayley Oakes Read Free Book Online

daughter?”
    I nodded, but this time I reached out for his hand. I wanted him to touch me like he had before, before he knew my secret. He pulled away and leaned back on his stool, hands behind his head processing the information. “Devon? Wow.” But as the information sunk in, his face changed.
    “For fuck’s sake,” he muttered and stared into my eyes, anger wading into them. “You must be kidding me? You have to be joking?” He took deep breaths and panted, leaning forward on the table. People started to take notice, and all I could do was watch. What more could I say?
    “Why didn’t you tell me? You knew where I was, knew how to reach me, I trawled this city for you, desperately trying to find you to say sorry. I wanted to make things right.” Did he? I was stunned. I always assumed he had made the right decision for him. He shook his head. “You always knew how to find me and you never did.”
    I was dumbstruck. I had no idea what to say. “Why did you not tell me? Why would you not tell me this?”
    “I … I just thought you’d be getting on with your life, that you would have moved on, and it'd be better if we just stayed hidden.”
    “Bollocks!” he raged. “If you felt anything for me you would never have kept this from me.” He looked at me solemnly.
    “It wasn’t like that Robert. I wanted to let you get on with your life. I thought this was my burden. It was too late for an abortion, and I thought I should deal with it, suck it up. But ...” I smiled. “From the moment I saw her, it was a miracle. It was like the most amazing gift anyone had ever given me.” I looked him in the eye. “I didn’t exclude you on purpose, there just never seemed a right time to tell you, especially since I hadn’t told you straight away. Then there was your mother and her plans for your career, and teenage pregnancy in our town was like leprosy, curable, but still a social faux pas.”
    “This is bullshit!” he whispered. “I have a daughter that I have never met, and you kept her from me.”
    “I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “There’s nothing I can say to defend myself.”
    He shook his head. “I never thought I could hurt more than when we broke up, but you just ripped my fucking heart out.” He stood up grabbed his coat and stormed out of the pub.
     
    ***
     
    “So he just walked out?” Maria asked, a little over an hour later as we sat on our sofa with a glass of wine.
    “Yes,” I sniffed. “I have no idea why I am so upset.”
    “Shock,” Maria patted my hand. “All this has just happened so suddenly and you haven’t had time to even think.”
    I shook my head and sipped my wine. “He’s right, I should have gone home, should have told them all. Hell, I wasn’t on the streets like you. I had somewhere to go. I didn’t deserve my place at Jackie’s.”
    “Don’t be ridiculous!” Maria scolded. “I knew you then, remember. You were just as alone as me, and your home was not a walk in the park. Your boyfriend had just left you, and it was understandable that you didn’t want to go home to live with your mother whilst Robert lived it up with his college mates.”
    “I was selfish, thinking about me and not Devon.”
    “You were seventeen, Jesus. Who isn’t selfish at seventeen?” Maria shoulder bumped me, and I smiled at her, “Now no more sad sack, let’s get a grip on this situation. All your secrets are out in the open, and it didn’t go down well. Well when would it have? If you’d have told him at six months pregnant, nine months, or when Devon was born, it would always have been a shock. He can do what he wants now, but he knows and so you can finally relax.”
    I sighed. “You’re so God damn right,” I said as I gulped some wine. “Onwards and upwards and sod 'em all.”
    “There you go; the bitch is back!”
    “She certainly is.”
    “I wonder what he’ll do next?” Maria asked. “By what you’ve said, it sounds like he’s still keen on