Waiting Period by Hubert Selby Read Free Book Online

I wonder what time it is how long have I been away I cant remember what time I left the coffee shop never knew really have to sit oh god that feels good should take my jacket off and tie cant bother have to sit rest oh god I feel faint whats going on????
    Oh thats better, much better. Catch my breath. Wow that feels good! How did I ever breathe with the collar buttoned? No wonder I felt faint, I was being strangled. Feel a million times better just opening it. Get this jacket off in a minute … or two. That air feels so good, just, going right down my throat. Cant believe how different my chest feels. Legs still wobbly. Damn. Why in the hell cant I stand? Getting dizzy just from trying to stand. This is crazy for krists—okay, just relax. Sit a few more minutes. No rush. Nice and easy. Damn. Not even 3 oclock. Seems like years ago. Just a few hours. He goes to lunch at one. Cant seem to remember what happened. Can see it, but memorys hazy. How strange. Know exactly what happened, yet … At least I think I know what happened. Could I be wrong? Cant be. No. Howd I get out? The coffee shop. Didnt run. No. To the car. Cant remember. But I drove home. Im here. How in the name of krist did I make it? All the way? I dont remember it yeah, thats right, my eyes burned. Sweat. Five miles. At least. Should remember something. Wonder if I can stand now? Think Im soaking wet. No, better not shower. Legs too wobbly. Krist, Im really home. I did it. Didnt I? Yeah, I know, but better check the bottle. At least that way—Empty. Knew I dumped it. I really did it. I did it … and Im here. Home. All the way home. Wonder if the cars okay? Didnt hit anything. O krist, I/d remember something like that. Sure. Yeah!!!! Im here. Its over—Hey! Im standing. My legs are fine. Pick up your pallet and walk my son. Maybe tomorrow I/ll remember more clearly. A shower. Hot. Cold. Get these clothes off. What a great day. Greatest day of my life. No, no tossing clothes on the bed. Hang up the suit, nice and tidy. Everything in perfect order.
    Indeed, all is perfect in the perfectly ordered life of the man … at this particular moment. Our man is singing in the shower, his legs sturdy, the water hot, relaxing, mist filling the bathroom, clinging to the mirror. In time, perhaps soon, he will increase the cold water in small increments and when he finally turns off the water he will feel invigorated and rub himself briskly and step forth a new man, at least for a moment.
    Bring me giants! Cant believe my legs were so weak just a few minutes ago. I could climb a mountain. No, I could run up the son of a bitch. God, Im starving. Ha ha, no wonder, I didnt eat any lunch. Whip something up. Roast beef sandwich and a beer sounds good. Pickle too. Sounds great. Watch a movie while I eat. Could go out later to a restaurant and celebrate with a late dinner. Nice piece of broiled fish I havent checked the car. I know nothings wrong but better check it anyway no point in taking chances well I dont know what chances but its the little details that make or break you no I wont look conspicuous Im not going to stare at every inch I/ll just walk slowly around to the drivers side yeah thats it look carefully no rush open the door yeah open the door and lean in and op—no get in and open the glove box and rummage around for a minute now get out and walk around the other way … yeah, who is going to notice just go back up the walk nice and easy and get back in my chair and finish my sandwich, nothing to it, and my legs feel fine, didnt wobble not even for a minute. Strong as a running backs. Still afternoon. Cant seem to get used to the time. Seems like such a long day. Guess it is but still plenty of time. What a wonder this day is and—maybe I should hide the bottle dont want a series of coincidences revealing what happened but what can be revealed still you cant be too safe but if some weird set of circumstances leads to the bottle what can be more oh for crying out