picture Faith took of me at the eighth-grade picnic at Candlewood Lake — right before I went behind a clump of rhododendrons to make out with Roger Hunter. Boy, was that ever a mistake! I’d had a really big crush on him all year, but it turned out he just wanted to try to get to second base.
And
he was a really lousy kisser. But it’s a good picture. I’m wearing jeans shorts and a flowery bikini top and these fake Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses that I bought on the street in New York City for ten dollars without noticing they said Dolce & Gabbanana. Lily never let me live that down. But Faith says they make me look like a movie star, especially when I’m doing the pretend-I’m-a-model pose like I’m doing in the picture.
AbyAngel99: On its way.
BlueSkyBoi: So?
AbyAngel99: So …
BlueSkyBoi: What did u think?
AbyAngel99: Well …
BlueSkyBoi: Yes?
AbyAngel99: Ur pretty cute
BlueSkyBoi: Only pretty cute!? Not the hottest guy u ever saw????? jk.
AbyAngel99: LOL! Maybe 2nd hottest.
I wonder if he’s opened the picture of me yet. What if he thinks I’m a total dog and doesn’t want to chat with me anymore? It’s kind of freaky to send your picture out over the Internet to someone you don’t really know and then have to sit waitingfor their judgment on how you look. Maybe that’s why my aunt Penny, who got divorced two years ago, hates online dating so much. Mom’s always nagging her to go back on to Match.com but Aunt Penny says she’d rather have root canal work — without anesthetic.
AbyAngel99: So …
BlueSkyBoi: Sew buttons.
AbyAngel99: Ur sew not funny
BlueSkyBoi: Would it help if I said ur the hottest chick I’ve seen in a long time?
I feel warm all over. I know he’s probably lying, but it feels good to hear someone say it anyway.
AbyAngel99: Might help if I actually believed u meant it.
BlueSkyBoi: Srsly, Abby, ur really pretty. I don’t know why u don’t think so.
AbyAngel99: Maybe cause guys in my hs don’t exactly seem to be beating down my door.
BlueSkyBoi: Good! I’d be jealous if they were.
It’s strange that Luke’s talking like this, all jealous and possessive like he’s my boyfriend or something. Strange, but kind of flattering and nice.
BlueSkyBoi: Those guys must be immature idiots. Srsly. If they can’t see how cool and hot u are.
AbyAngel99: Cool and hot. Haha!
BlueSkyBoi: U know what I mean ;-p
AbyAngel99: I guess.
BlueSkyBoi: Damn, I GTG. Time for work.
AbyAngel99: Now? What do u do?
BlueSkyBoi: Nothing interesting, believe me.
BlueSkyBoi: Hang in there, gorgeous.
BlueSkyBoi: TTY tomorrow?
AbyAngel99: K.
AbyAngel99: Byes.
I gaze at Luke’s picture for a while after he logs off, trying to imagine him in the room with me. I try to imagine what it would be like if he were my age and went to my school, like if it were Luke who sat behind me in math class instead of Nick Peters. I get all depressed at that thought, because then Luke would probably have the hots for Amanda Armitage, just like Nick does, and he’d barely give me a second glance except for when he needed to copy my homework. Oh, yeah, and he’d call me Annabelle or Aggie or something. It’s probably a good thing that Luke lives somewhere that we’ll never meet in real life. That way I can always imagine the way it could be, rather than be disappointed by the way it is.
But I can’t help myself from looking up his profile to see where he lives. BlueSkyBoi … age twenty-eight. I thought he said twenty-seven? Anyway, he’s from New Jersey, it says. Toms River. I look it up on Google Maps. It’s on the Jersey shore, north of Atlantic City. My parents took us to Atlantic City once. Mom and Lily and I hung out on the beach while Dad went to some Boring Accountants Convention. It took us, like, six hours to get there. It was only supposed to take four, but the traffic wasawful. And I was stuck in the backseat with Lily whining the whole time. Joy.
I play the I-fainted-yesterday sympathy card
Learning to Kill: Stories