Warm Winter Love by Constance Walker Read Free Book Online Page B

For the first time in the conversation they both smiled. “No kidding,” he said. “I’m really an honorable person. Okay, just tell me one thing. You do know that something happened out there yesterday, don’t you? You do recognize something between us. Some little spark?”
    Yes, Sam, she wanted to say. Yes, I know that there’s something there. That’s what the problem has been all day. That’s why I tried to call Jason so many times. That’s why I had to talk to him, wanted to hear his voice, to be reassured that he was my fiancé and that he was waiting for me, expecting me to return from just another winter vacation. Only, he wasn’t there. Yes, Sam, I recognize that there’s something there. But I don’t want to. I really don’t want to.
    He tried another tack. “Do you think it’s just the fact that we’re having a good time? Or that we met each other at some vulnerable moment for each of us? Or that we have so many things in common? Or,” he smiled, “all of the above?”
    She tilted her head to one side and kept silent. All of the above, she wanted to shout. All of the above and more. But she didn’t say anything and they remained awkwardly quiet.
    “Okay,” Sam said, pushing his plate away. “We do have a problem, don’t we?” His chest heaved. “So what do we do about it? What can we do about it?”
    “Nothing. There’s nothing we can do.” Katie was miserable and a tight band began to form around her head and compress it. This was something she hadn’t bargained for, this was to have been just another vacation. It was supposed to be strictly skiing, strictly fun. Nothing was supposed to happen and certainly nothing that would affect her life so permanently.
    “Oh, Katie-Katie,” he said, “we just can’t turn our backs on this and pretend it never happened. It would be such a waste.”
    She had no answers. She rocked back and forth in her chair, her palm against her head, trying to push at the ache inside and outside her skull. She wanted the pounding to stop. Most of all she wanted to stand up and run from the room. But she couldn’t, knowing in her heart that she really wanted to stay with Sam for as long as she had time left.
    “Suppose you tell me about your fiancé,” he said.
    “What good would it do?”
    “It would give me a fair chance.”
    She almost blurted out that it was she who needed the fair chance, that he had come along out of the blue and disturbed her very calm and orderly life just by smiling and talking with her.
    “He’s just someone I’ve known for a long time. A fellow teacher. I work with him at the same school. I’ve known him for years.”
    “Is he good to you?”
    “Oh, yes, very good. He’s a very nice person—very gentle, very orderly. Everyone likes him.”
    “Do you love him?”
    She closed her eyes. He was asking the hard question now and she didn’t know how to answer him.
    “Katie, do you love him? How come you can’t answer that? It’s the one question you should be able to answer quickly and with feeling. It should be the easiest. A no-brainer.” He put his hand over hers. “You should be able to say, ‘Yes, Sam, I love him very much.’ Your eyes should shine and you should smile. But you don’t. So I’ll ask you again, Katie. Do you love him?”
    “It’s not like that, Sam. It’s not like music and rainbows and balloons and craziness. Jason’s not like that. He’s stable and good and he knows what he wants out of life. He does things in quiet ways and….”
    “Katie, look at me.” Sam’s hand closed over hers and she kept her eyes on his hands, watching as his fingers curled over hers. “Tell me that you love him, Katie-Katie, and I’ll walk away now. Tell me that you want him and I’ll leave you alone. I’ll leave Cedar Crest this evening. Tell me that you don’t love me. ” He waited, and when she didn’t reply he ran his fingers lightly over hers, stroking them, smoothing them. “You can’t, can