Weekend by Jane Eaton Hamilton Read Free Book Online Page A

couple? Was Scout right this moment imprinting on her mother’s misery like a whooping crane following a light plane?
    â€œI need you to notice me ,” said Elliot.
    Joe blinked in astonishment.
    â€œAll you see is Scout. Sometimes I feel that’s all you wantedme for was to have a baby, and now that you have her, you have no use for me.”
    Oh, that was insane, insane! All she did was notice her! Dropped everything when she was around to smother her with attention! Joe felt as if lethal gasses were expanding inside her, pushing at her skin. “But I love you, Elliot! I’m wild about you! All I do is consider your welfare!”
    Elliot pushed herself up, tucked a weary fist into the small of her back. “I admit, I am not as patient as I usually am. I’m sorry.”
    â€œNo, I’m sorry,” Joe said, lifting bleary eyes. “You’re not entirely wrong. I’m absorbed with her. And I’ve been shrill with you, demanding. This experience is, I don’t know, consumptive.” Joe’s left arm was aching from Scout’s weight. “It’s how crappy and vulnerable I feel physically, the stitches, the fact that I can’t get more than two hours of sleep in a row, and then all the worry about getting her latched to establish breastfeeding, and is my milk ever going to come in—”
    Elliot laughed. “I think your milk is definitely in.” Joe’s shirt was soaked to her waist. “I’m sorry you’re hurt,” said Elliot, relenting, wrapping her arm around Joe, pulling her as tightly in as she could without pushing up against Scout.
    â€œTell me you love me.”
    â€œYou know I do,” said Elliot, kissing her cheek. “I’m married to you, aren’t I? Obviously I love you.”
    â€œIt’s the best,” said Joe, sighing with pleasure, quelling the inner voice that said, Hey, wait a second! Snuggling down, sherested her head on Elliot’s shoulder. She could smell her own milk, sweet, sour. It was true that she was no kind of wife these days. It would be six weeks until they could have sex. And even then it might not be what she’d had before, since in birthing, somehow in all her magnificent pushing, her clitoris had torn. What was Logan, what was anyone else, compared to this, compared to the three of them becoming a family together?

        JOE
    Campfire next door, and Elliot said they should go. She’d been twitchy through dinner. “It’s not far. Do you think you can walk it if you hold on to me?” she asked Joe. “I’ll carry Scout.” They navigated across the rocks down to the campfire pit between the two houses, met Toby waggling his tail partway. Lightning bugs blinked on, blinked off, blinked on, blinked off. Joe realized that it felt amazing to be outside, even just creeping along as they of necessity had to, her arm slipped through Ell’s elbow to help steady her, the U-pillow huge and geriatric around Ell’s neck, the babe snuggled into the crook of Ell’s low-hanging free arm. It even felt amazing just to realize that she didn’t have to exist within the bubble that was their living room and spare room for perpetuity. Elliot gave the baby over, slung the U-pillow onto a stump for Joe, then stood behind her so she could lean for support.
    â€œY’all,” Logan said. “Take my chair, Joe.”
    While they switched, Toby flopped down, a woof coming out of him as if he’d moved a great weight.
    â€œAjax, this is Joe, and baby Scout. Joe, Ajax,” said Logan.
    Joe was seeing if she could sit comfortably on the pillow. It smarted, but then her stitches hurt no matter what.
    Logan stoked the dying fire.
    Ajax said, “Scout is a great name. I’m happy to meet you, Joe. May I hold her?” She walked around the campfire jiggling Scout, rubbing her back and patting her bottom.
    â€œYou must have