Well-Tempered Clavicle by Piers Anthony Read Free Book Online Page A

particular Challenge, I’m the one who has to pass.”
    “So we need another way,” Picka said.
    “There must be something to counter the Tree,” Dawn said. “If we can fathom it, without the Tree diverting us.”
    “Maybe the pets can balk it again,” Joy’nt said, “acting as a trio.”
    The pets got moving. They found a nook in the castle wall nearby, where there was a dining table and a place setting with plate, glass, silverware, and chopsticks. Evidently it was set up to accommodate any preference. Except for animals. Still, the three paused there expectantly.
    “Chopsticks,” Joy’nt said. “Maybe you can play a tune, Picka.”
    “No, my music talent is stifled here,” Picka said.
    “But you know, that could be a pun,” Dawn said. Then she changed her mind. “No, of course not.”
    Picka exchanged a hollow eye-holed glance with Joy’nt. Dawn’s mind had been messed with. That suggested that her original thought was apt, and the Tree did not want her to have it. What was there about the chopsticks?
    Picka went to the nook and picked up the two little sticks. Immediately they jerked in his fingers, seeming to possess animation of their own. They rapped down on the table, chipping splinters from it.
    “They like to chop!” Joy’nt said. “Well, maybe not.”
    So now Joy’nt’s thought was being stifled. That confirmed it.
    Picka took the chopsticks and carried them to the Devil Tree. He held them beside its trunk. They started chopping vigorously, chipping the bark.
    GO AWAY! The thought was so strong that Picka stumbled backward. The Tree had evidently been so annoyed by the attack of the chop sticks that it forgot to make the thought seem like his own. But it did stop him from keeping the little sticks close.
    “No problem!” Dawn called. “We’re past it, thanks to your distraction.”
    Oh. Picka returned the sticks to the dining nook, then walked across to join the others. It seemed they had navigated the third Challenge.
    A formerly hidden door in the castle wall opened. “Welcome, visitors!” a woman called. “Come on in.”
    “Hello, Wira,” Dawn said. “It’s so nice to see you again.” The two women hugged. “And these are Picka and Joy’nt Bone, and the three former Baldwin Family pets, Woofer, Tweeter, and Midrange.”
    “Of course,” Wira agreed. She petted Woofer, stroked Midrange, and proffered her shoulder as a perch for Tweeter. “Dara has treats for all of you.”
    “Dara?” Joy’nt asked.
    “Magician Humfrey’s Designated Wife of the Month,” Wira explained. “She was his first, and doesn’t mind returning one month in six, though she says that’s about all she can take of him.”
    “A demoness?”
    “He was young then,” Wira confided. “She tempted him, but then became impatient, so he moved on to the Maiden Taiwan. It’s a long story that we don’t speak of much today.”
    “In Xanth a man is supposed to have only one wife at a time,” Dawn said. “But in the course of a century or so Humfrey had five and a half different wives. So now they take turns. Ah, here we are.”
    They had arrived at the main reception hall. There was Dara, resplendent in a royal gown. But as they approached it shifted to an ordinary housedress, then to bra and panties, and on to a business suit.
    “Oh, bleep!” Dara swore. “I forgot your friend is a skeleton. Illicit flashes won’t freak him.”
    “True,” Dawn agreed cheerfully. “He doesn’t even like meaty panties.”
    Dara became a skeleton with glowing bones. That made Picka take note. He found himself leaning against a wall. Some time must have passed, because the three animals were finishing snacks that Picka had never seen served.
    “Ha!” Dara said. “I did freak him out.”
    That made him wonder whether a demoness could be a good girlfriend for him. There were very few walking skeletons in Xanth proper, but many demonesses. Obviously they could be attractive when they tried. But then he