What is Love? by Tessa Saks Read Free Book Online Page A

baby’ me.
What are you doing, taking your wife on our vacation?”
    Sienna stood and
gave Sam a thumbs-up gesture before closing the door behind her.
    “Sam, you know this
trip was planned over a year ago. It’s for our anniversary and it’s a big
deal—I mean to her—it’s a big deal for her, not me.”
    “Of course it’s a
big deal to her—you’re taking her, for God sake!” Sam felt an internal gasket
blow. “You said you were taking me and now you’re taking her? First, you bail
on me during our week in the Bahamas after your stupid son calls, and now
you’re bailing on this. You told me you couldn’t go through with the
Valentine’s thing—that you wanted to be with me. Remember? You canceled that
one, so why go through with this? Why, Johnny?”
    “That was different.
I need to do this.”
    “You need to? And
just why, exactly?” Blood angrily pumped through her arteries, causing her ears
to buzz.
    “Sam, don’t. I need
to do this gently. You don’t understand—”
    “No, Johnny. I
don’t!” Her voice vibrated as she yelled. “One minute you want me, the next you
don’t. You obviously want to be with her—explain away. You know, I’m getting
pretty sick of this. Enough with your bullshit lies. Just how long exactly do
you expect me to wait?”
    Jonathan didn’t
respond. In the moment of awkward silence, a panic rose within her. She’d
pushed too hard. “Johnny,” she whispered with her best baby voice. “Baby?”
    “Sam, I do need you  … I do,” Jonathan said, his voice
soft again. Sam heard his sigh. “But I can’t just turn my back on forty years.
Not just like that, not—”
    “Yes, you can,” Sam
snapped into the phone. “You can do anything you want.”
    “Sam. That’s not
fair.”
    “Fair? You plan to
spend ten days with her Highness and leave me alone  … that’s fair? Wondering what you do, what you talk about  … imagining her seducing you right
back into the way things used to be. I had to arrange for time off work,
remember?” She was ranting and she knew it. “Am I supposed to just ignore this
now? Not worry?”
    “I’m not happy about
it, believe me,” his voice rose with obvious annoyance, “but I need to make
sure she has time to get used to things—”
    “She’ll get used to
things when you’re gone. I don’t see how stretching this out is helping.”
    “I’m giving her
time.”
    “You’re fricken
giving her hope!” she screamed into the phone, shaking it with fury.
    “I don’t think so.”
    “Yes, yes JW, you
are. And I’m losing it.” She couldn’t believe she was saying this to him. “If
you don’t want me, just say.”
    “Sam, damn it! Of
course I want you. But just not so damn fast. I need a little more time to sort
all this out.” He stopped yelling and Sam could hear his long sigh. “It’s
complicated, you don’t understand, forty years is a long time. She deserves—”
    “She deserves
exactly what she’s getting.”
    “Sam, you are being
completely unreasonable.”
    “No, Johnny. You are unreasonable. And if you weren’t such a selfish asshole and she wasn’t such
a fat, selfish bitch—”
    Click! Oh God. Sam stared at the disconnected phone in her hand. What had she done? She tried
calling back, but his phone went straight to his answering service. She tried
several more times.
    Pick up! Pick up,
damn it! Pressure surged through her temples. She finally tossed the phone
aside again, sat back on the bed and reached for her lighter, staring at the
picture of Jonathan on her cluttered dresser. He was supposed to get her out of
here. He was to be her savior. On the bulletin board above her desk were
magazine cutouts of the beautiful clothes and jewelry she planned to have one
day, one day when she was rich, one day when she wouldn’t have any worries. But
now—thanks to his stupid wife—she really did have something to worry about.
    ***
    Ellen placed the
last piece of clothing, a peach silk chiffon