you’re wondering why, so I guess I’ll share with you my reasoning. Well, I’m an average looking twenty-nine year old woman, with a six-year-old son. I no longer have the youthful body that many of these women have, and I can stand to lose quite a few pounds in the stomach area. I also have low self-image issues about my dark skin tone, which has been a problem for me since I was a child. Terry knows all of this and assures me that I’m beautiful in his eyes. I’m sure another man won’t do that, because frankly from what I’ve seen, no real man wants to deal with a woman with image issues. Yeah, a few guys may try to holler at me when I’m out and about, but they are trying to get some pussy. Men are not knocking down my door for a date or even to be in a relationship.
Take my baby’s father for example. He wasn’t the perfect man, but he was mine. Yeah, he may have stepped out a few times, but he always came back to me. Well, he used to anyway. Now we have a kid and his ass ain’t even around. The muthafucka left me to go back to that high yellow ass hoe, with the “good hair” and body of a stripper. I wasn’t really surprised when he did that though. I’ve been dealing with bullshit from men my entire life. It never fails. It doesn’t matter how good I am to them, they always seem to stray and eventually end up leaving me for a light-skinned bitch. Do I like it, no, but there’s also nothing that I can do about it, because you can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to stay, no matter how hard you try, and believe me I’ve tried. For some reason the yellow hoes are winning.
I remember back in high school when I first started to date. Those boys were a mess. They would choose the lighter girls to be their girlfriends, but they want to fuck with the darker ones on the low. Even then, although it hurt my feelings by some of their actions, I chalked it up to the fact that younger guys had no clue what it was that they wanted. I had no clue that the real world would be that way as well. Now I see that age is in fact nothing but a number, because even older men like to play games. They’ll make you think you’re all they want until something better comes along, and when I say better I mean lighter.
I can honestly say that I’ve never had a man give me one hundred percent of his heart. The same applies to my very own father. As much as I adored that man, he never showed me the same type of love in return. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s always provided for me and made sure that I had everything that I needed when I was younger, but when it came time to show love he constantly pushed me away. At first I thought it was because he wasn’t the affectionate type when it came to children, because he always showed my mother love. I never once remember him giving me a hug or even telling me that he loved me. It wasn’t until his daughter; my half-sister came to live with us, that I saw that he actually had a loving side. It was then that I finally found out that I was the reason he never let me in; I wasn’t light enough.
That’s an entirely different story, which I’ll get to another time. Right now I have to get my stuff ready for work, because I have to be there in an hour and a half. I know one thing and that’s that Terry better have his ass here soon, because I need him to keep Kendrick while I’m gone since he can’t go to school today. So Brittany, or whatever other bitch he’s laid up with better finish up, because if I have to miss work behind his bullshit, there will be hell to pay. I call his phone a few more times, before taking my ass upstairs to get the peroxide. It usually works to get blood out, and I’m hoping that it does the same for my couch.
Chapter 5
Shanair
“Well good morning beautiful,” I hear Naomi say as soon as I step in the room.
“Good morning to you, too, my honey bunny.” I give her a weak smile, before I turn and finish washing my hands. “Give me a
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley