the sofa, food resting on cushions.
Nice day at the office? Im not really expecting an answer, but I always ask the question.
David looks distracted for a moment. Mmmm. No, not really.
Its not like David to say anything other than Oh, not bad, so I look at him quizzically.
For a moment he looks like hes about to tell me all about it, but then the music for Frasier starts and my eyes flicker away for a second or two. By the time Ive refocused on David, the moment has gone.
I tell him about my star turn today over the Pensions Bulletin research, and he laughs, but I dont mention my lunch with Mike. If things are tough at work, hes hardly going to be in the mood to hear about his girlfriend going out to lunch with her ex. And anyway, Im not going to see Mike again, I think to myself as I nestle into Davids shoulder.
I dont think about it again until later that night as were falling asleep. You havent heard from Mike, have you? David murmurs. Suddenly Im wide awake.
No, I lie, trying to work out why David would think that I had. Why would I?
Oh, nothing, David says, rolling over. Its just . . . I dont know. You will tell me if he tries to get in touch with you, wont you?
Does he know about the lunch? Why would he ask that?
Youre not jealous are you? I ask hesitantly.
Jealous? Why on earth would I be jealous? David says incredulously. I start to sulk slightly, but then figure that hes hardly going to admit that hes jealous. I know I should be feeling bad but instead I feel like a femme fatale.
But before I can sink into dreams of men fighting over me, David turns on the light and looks at me intently. Look, I just dont trust Mike, he says seriously. So tell me if he calls you, okay?
I dont ask him if e-mails count.
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I dont hear from Mike until Friday. All week I have been telling myself that I am relieved that he hasnt tried to get back in touch. But my stomach has been lurching every time I get an external e-mail, just in case its him.
Im on the phone to Candy, arranging a shopping and gossip session for the following afternoon when I hear the familiarping .
Candy and I are discussing the relative merits of Kensington High Street and Oxford Street. (I favor Ken High Street. Oxford Street is too busy, and anyway, my favorite shop on Oxford Street is Top Shop, and Id never be able to go in there with Candy. She buys things featured inVogue instead of searching the high street for rip-offs like the rest of us.) I absentmindedly go to my e-mail inbox, and there it is.
MIKE MARSHALL: So, I went away. Now its Friday afternoon and you cant tell me youre still busy. I feel like getting drunk tonight, fancy joining me?
My heart starts beating. Im meant to be going round to Davids tonight. Iam going round to Davids tonight. At least I think I am. I mean, of course thats what I want to do, but it could be a good idea to meet Mike, just to, you know, reinforce the fact that he wants me and cant have me. If you think about it, that would actually be really good for David, too, because it would show Mike that David is way better than him. And if I dont go, he might think Im too scared to go, that I dont trust myself around him, which is obviously ridiculous because I dont find him attractive anymore. Really. And David wont mind, Im sure.
George? Are you still there? Candy has always called me George rather than Georgie. I think it started at schoolthough we lived near each other during my Kensington Church Street phase, we went to different schools, and Candy liked being able to tell her friends at school about her friend George, without mentioning that I was actually a girl. Ive had a couple of odd meetings with people who went to school with Candy who looked really astonished to