When Parents Text: So Much Said...So Little Understood by Sophia Fraioli, Lauren Kaelin Read Free Book Online

me.
     

PETS
     
    Growing up, neither of us had real pets in our household. Lauren had a bunny named Slipper, and Sophia had a goldfish named Skully. For this reason alone, we may never understand why almost 25 percent of our website is dedicated to the delicate relationship between parents and pets. Perhaps they are fillers for an empty nest, or maybe they’ve always been the family favorite. Either way, parents love to text about them, and we love reading the results.

    Family Photo
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    MOM : can you be available about 1 PM on sunday for a family photo?
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    ME : Sure. Should I wear anything specific?
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    MOM : black, so the dog’s colors will show best.
     
    FWD
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    MOM : FWD: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW
     
    Opposable Thumbs
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    DAD : The cat texted me, he wants to come in!! He’s freezing in the bushes
     

    Catnip
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    MOM : Hi Sweetie I’m getting Patches wasted
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    ME : How so?
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    MOM : Catnip. It’s like pot
     
    Goldie the Cat
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    MOM : Hi…it’s goldie. i figured out how to use dad’s phone. just wanted you to know i miss you. i was having a really good day with dad until i puked (i knew i shouldn’t have eaten those plant leaves…) anyway, dad’s kinda mad at me so i am hiding. can’t wait to see you. your favorite cat, goldie
     
    Trip to the Vet
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    MOM : it was a bite to the muscle, he’s got a fever too, they took his virginity and butt temperatured him.
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    ME : wow mom, wow
     

    Hail Mary
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    MOM : Pray for me. I am throwing up in the bathroom. Yuk! I need your prayers.
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    MOM : Surrounded by cats they don’t know what to think.
     
    Family
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    MOM : You will add the dog as your facebook friend RIGHT NOW!!
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    ME : mom he’s a dog….
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    MOM : He is FAMILY, add him or you are grounded!!!!
     
    Tinsel
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    MOM : Kitten just sneezed and i swore i heard a strange sound when i checked him ov i discovered tinsel in his nose when i pulled on it 12 inches came out-
     

    Dog Days
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    MOM : the dog is in a mood today. ugh
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    MOM : Literally sniffing every blade of grass so gingerly. Been out here 20 minutes.
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    MOM : And now the dog is giving me the cold shoulder.
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    MOM : I love you!
     
    Latest Accessory
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    MOM : Hey boo it’s so cold i’m wearing the cats!
     
    The Lord Giveth
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    MOM : big fish died today
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    ME : oh no! poor fish
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    MOM : the lord giveth and the lord taketh away, we now have 9 birds.

     
     

    Monkey
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    DAD : Hi Monkey there is fleas in my house love dad
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    ME : What!? Seriously? Ah those stupid dogs shouldn’t have gone inside.
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    DAD : Monkey yes I am agreeing I am upset going to panera love dad
     
    Benadryl
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    ME : We’re going to Jons
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    MOM : Hooray
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    MOM : The dog is so itchy. I gave him a benadryl
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    ME : what? why would you give a dog benadryl?
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    MOM : He’s fucked up.

     
     

    Patches
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    DAD : Can not make phils game tonite it is in san fran. I guess i will be watching at home with the only one who loves me. Thank you patches. By the way do u hv patches cell ph number or does he just use momas ph.
     
    Squirts
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    ME : How was your day?
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    MOM : Kinda crazy…Amber woke up early (with the squirts) then there was a bomb threat at school so I was very late for work but other than that it was a nice day.
     
    Cat Paw
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    DAD : Paw says Happy Wednesday. Wheres my tuna.
     

DREAMS
     
    Why do people love to talk about their dreams?

    Mass Text
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    MOM : Hi. I had a really weird dream. So let me ask you a weird question. Are any of you pregnant?
     
    Wildest Dreams
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    MOM : Just saying in your wildest dreams what color kitchen aid mixer would you like?
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    MOM : False alarm. sorry. got excited at a macy’s sale. please forgive.
     
    Small Octopus
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    MOM : On my way, love you and great to see you, your room, your