When the Duke Returns by Eloisa James Read Free Book Online Page B

thought—”
    â€œDon’t,” his mother said magisterially. “There is rather too much thinking going on in this household. Honeydew has always been prone to thought, and I’m sure it’s bad for his digestion, as I’ve told him time and again.”
    Poor Honeydew, Simeon thought. Probably spent a bit too much time thinking about how to pay bills. Guilt curdled his stomach. “Now you must forgive me,” he said, rising.
    She shrieked. Simeon dropped back into his seat.
    â€œYou may not rise while I am seated,” she said, patting her chest. “Nor may you leave until I dismiss you.”
    Simeon ground his teeth. “I must needs retire, Your Grace.”
    â€œWell, why didn’t you say so?” She came to her feet nimbly enough. “You are dismissed.”
    He bowed and left, feeling as angry—and as small—as a schoolboy.

Chapter Six
    Revels House
February 24, 1784
    T he next morning the weather changed, and with it the odor in the house swelled and grew to a stench, the kind that reached out, grabbed a man’s breath, and took it away. It wasn’t that Simeon hadn’t smelled it—or worse—before. But he hadn’t expected to smell it in his own home.
    He was literally staring down into a pile of shit. He dragged a hand through his hair and turned to Godfrey.
    â€œWhat the hell is this?”
    â€œThe water closet?” Godfrey said.
    â€œI see that.” He would have loved to summon up withering sarcasm, but he was too tired.
    Godfrey leaned over and showing extreme bravery,peered down the hole. “Loathsome smell. I hate the water closets. The servants’ privy behind the kitchen gardens is much better.”
    â€œSo you’re telling me they’re all like this?”
    â€œYes. They’re always worse on damp days and it’s raining today. You should smell the house after ten days’ rain.”
    â€œThey’re not working,” Simeon said flatly. “Water closets are supposed to have water running through them. These need to be cleaned out.”
    The concept had clearly never entered Godfrey’s mind. “I don’t think Honeydew would like one of the footmen to go down there,” he said. “They might never come back up. Do you know what we pay a footman?”
    Simeon sighed. He knew precisely how much a footman should be paid for a year’s work—and the Cosway estate had been paying approximately half of that amount. “Footmen don’t do this sort of work. I believe iron-workers do.”
    â€œIron-workers?” Godfrey sounded puzzled, as well he might be. Clearly, no iron-worker had lifted a finger to the pipes in years.
    â€œWe need help.” He was going to have to postpone the wedding until the spring. Simeon raked his hand through his hair again. God knows what Isidore would make of that announcement. He could hardly tell her that his mother had become so tight-fisted that the water closets hadn’t been cleaned since the days of good Queen Bess.
    â€œDo you suppose,” Godfrey said tentatively, “that we could possibly have a proper water closet? Do you remember the Oglethorpes in the next county? Rupert showed me their new water closet. It’s all marble. I mean, we couldn’t afford anything like that, but perhaps running water?”
    Simeon backed out of the privy. “Godfrey, we can have the whole house kitted up in marble if you wish.”
    Godfrey was at the stage where his legs were almost as long as the rest of him. He trotted along beside Simeon. “What do you mean?”
    â€œWe have a large, thriving estate,” he said, glancing at his little brother.
    His eyes were round and his mouth was open. “Mother said we should never discuss the question of substance.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œIt’s not proper.”
    â€œIt’s not proper to have a house stink like a pigsty in summer,”