Wherever the Dandelion Falls by Lily R. Mason Read Free Book Online

that had suddenly become too intense for me.
    "Oh, it was nothing.”
    As I said it, I knew it sounded fake. Maybe I was trying to put up some kind of firewall between us that she couldn't cross. If I glossed over my foray into dating women, she would put me in that category of "girls who have experimented and then gone back to men." That was the only way I understood my sexuality.
    "I don't buy it," Faye said. "Everyone's first girl is a big deal, no matter what happens afterward."
    She seemed to be giving me space to stay in the "college exploratory" category by saying, ”No matter what happens afterward." Afterward I had gone back to dating men, and I could use my experience to titillate them if I chose. I realized shamefully that I had. I had dangled my faux-bisexuality in front of the men I'd dated, smiling as I intentionally let them think it might mean I was game for a threesome or some other adventure planted in their brains by the porn industry. This, Justine had informed me, was why lesbians hated bisexuals.
    But I wasn't a real bisexual. Right?
    As Faye looked at me from across the table, I wasn't sure. I felt I owed her something, though I wasn't sure why.
    "I mean, it was good," I assured her. "I had fun."
    "And by fun you mean..." She drifted off, then followed with, "Some good sex?"
    I was startled by her bluntness, but I found myself nodding. I remembered Maggie's post-sex face and how she was so satisfied that she'd pleased me. The world seemed to slow and her smile shone. She'd whispered in my ear, sticky fingers still inside me as she brought me down before caressing the rest of me, working the afterglow into every muscle and crevice. It was so good that it alarmed me. It felt unfair to Maggie to not give her the credit she was due.
    "Yeah," I said with a sheepish smile.
    Faye smiled like the cat who's caught the mouse, but she composed herself before it grew too smug.
    "How's your dating life today?"
    I felt myself sink down from the floating memory of my first time with Maggie to the reality of working for Dr. Turner, dating no one, and being intimate only with myself.
    I scrunched up my lips and shrugged.
    "That bad?" Faye asked. She raised her eyebrows as she took a sip of her drink. "What is wrong with people in this town? All the singles I know would love to date someone like you."
    I blushed, first at the compliment, and then at the realization that most of those people were probably women. She was probably thinking about which of her female friends would want to date me. That was too far from my white picket fence.
    "I kind of have a thing for my boss," I admitted.
    "Dr. Turner ?" Faye asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
    I nodded, a quick ashamed nod. "Don't tell anyone."
    Faye sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. “I was planning to put it in this week's column, but I won't if it would make you uncomfortable."
    I shot her a pained look with a roll of my eyes. Her sarcasm didn't mask the fact that she thought I was pathetic for lusting after my boss.
    "So what's the deal with Dr. Dreamboat?" she asked with a hint of resigned frustration.
    I told her about how smart and charming Dr. Turner was, and she listened without a trace of a smile on her face. After a while I started feeling ridiculous, as though I was describing something that didn't exist. So I asked her about growing up in San Antonio, and everything got easier.
    Before I knew it, the sun was setting. I had spent several hours with Faye, and it felt like just a few minutes. Anyone who is that easy to be around is worth keeping around.
    "Want to hang out again?" Faye asked. "Now that you know I'm not trying to get in your pants," she added with a smirk.
    I gave her a pained giggle and nodded. Despite her dismissal of Dr. Turner, I liked her. And in truth, I was excited to see her again.
     

     
    I let the prostitution money sit on my dresser for a week as a reminder that I needed to sort out how I felt about sex for pay. I knew