Who I Became (Who I Was Book 2) by Kasidy Blake Read Free Book Online Page B

every move I would be pissed off. I am trying to get her to fall in love with me again; I don’t think this is the way to do it. Which means that may take longer than I had originally planned which sucks more than anything but her protection is the most important thing to me.  No hair on her head will be touched.  Not again.
    “I’ll stay with her till you’re done.”
    “Thank you.”
    He nods again before exiting with Vanessa on his heels. I know he has the same goal in mind.  Free Lillian.
    I stand and stare after them for a second, mostly because I am uncomfortable.  Finally, knowing I have no way of getting out of this, I head over to the chair and sit down and look at him. 
    “Look, I know we aren’t friends and probably never will be.  I just want you to know, this isn’t your fault.”
    It hits me harder than it should.  I don’t know how he would know what I feel.   I also know that it was my fault.  If I never agreed to do the job.  I am still unsure why I was put into that position from Lucas, my guess is that he was hoping to kill all his birds with one stone.  If I never let my feelings get ahead of me, fuck me if I could have stopped it.  If I never had to leave maybe things would have been different.  If I never made him come with me to get her then he wouldn’t be here.  If I never went all crazy when finding Mia, he wouldn’t be here. 
    “No. No, I know what you are doing. You are going to keep blaming yourself. I see you playing out everything in your head.  Listen to me, I love her more than my life, so the fact that I almost died for her is okay with me.  I also love her enough to see that she loves you more than anything on this earth.  It hurts, but I know that after everything, you two are the best things for each other so I can get over the pain.  I know there will be someone out there for me just like she is to you.  So listen, there are a hundred different ways you can say what if I did this or what if I did that different then maybe… Fuck that, if you did anything differently, I may not be in this bed, but you know what…”
    I can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.  I see what she liked in him.  He is a good guy after all.
    “What?” I squeak.
    “You might be in it.  I know she is probably hurting knowing I’m in here. She is one of my best friends and always will be. She is too caring, to a fault almost. So I know, just like you, she will be blaming herself. So that may suck but nothing would hurt her more than you being in this bed or not and being six-feet under.  However, that’s not even the worst thing, if your actions weren’t in the order they were in, if you tried to change anything... If you could get in a time machine and change any of those what-if’s flying around in your head, she may not be in her bed either.  I may not like you right now, but I think I could. I trust you and respect the love you two share. So you did everything you could and YOU. ARE. NOT. TO. BLAME.”
    I stay stunned silent.  It helps a little. Does his speech help with all my doubt? No.  Will I always regret how this panned out, bringing us to this moment no matter how it all turns out? Yes. However, that being said, I can sleep a little better knowing he doesn’t blame me. 
    “Why would you try to make me feel better?”
    “Because, I need you focused. As focused as you can be because the battle has just begun.  You are going to have to go to the front lines for our side.  It is going to get ugly, and dangerous. I need you one-hundred percent able to keep her alive.”
    “Thank you.”
    “Now, I am tired, and need my rest or so they keep telling me so get out.”
    I do as he asks without hesitation, and I go straight to her room.  I am so relieved when I step in and see her beautiful smile laughing with Parker.  That smile has been hidden for so long.  Her face is so bright with it on there, the yellowing from her bruises almost gone and