some kind of web forum appeared. The page was almost all black with an illustration in the corner, a close-up of a man’s vivid green eye, complete with a black craggy eyebrow above it. Somehow, the piercing eye seemed to be watching me. I peered closer. The fine print under the eye read ‘Green-Eyed Master.’ Clever.
“What is this?”
“It’s a forum for people interested in dominance and submission, BDSM, stuff like that.”
“And you’re a member?”
“Yeah,” he said, typing in his login and password.
“Wait ... how come you never told me about this site?” I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Before we were married, Ian and I occasionally experimented with him tying me up, spanking me, and things of that nature. It had been fun and had always kicked the excitement level of our sexual encounters up a notch or two. Or three. But we hadn’t played that way in a long time. It bothered me to think that he was still exploring that side of his sexuality without me.
“I don’t know. Technically, anyone can apply, but it seems like most of the members are dominant, usually men. I joined about a year ago. I guess I just never thought to tell you.”
“What do you do there?”
“There’re discussion boards, and threads on different aspects of BDSM. The guy who runs it says that he founded it to help people figure out how to incorporate aspects of dominance and submission into their relationships. It’s not for people who are into really strict stuff.”
“I wish you would’ve told me about it.”
“Lyss, it’s not a big deal. It’s a discussion board, not an online playroom.”
“Yeah, but ... if you’re still interested in that kind of thing, why haven’t we tried it in so long?”
“Because that would require being home at the same time. Being awake at the same time. And actually having sex, which you may have noticed, hasn’t happened much lately.”
“And whose fault is that?” It came out harsher than I meant it to. I was still a bit weirded out by his revelation about this forum he belonged to.
“It’s not anyone’s fault. Sometimes you seem to think that our lack of a sex life only affects you. I miss the way things used to be, too. I’d give anything to get back to that, but I don’t see how that’s possible, short of winning the lottery and quitting our jobs.”
Okay, now I felt like crap. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Sometimes I do forget that this is really hard on you, too. It just threw me for a loop, that’s all. I thought this stuff, this BDSM stuff, was an interest we once shared but then we both stopped thinking about. I guess I felt a little left out to know that you were exploring it again—but without me.”
He leaned forward and kissed my temple. “I’d like to be able to explore it with you, Lyss. You should know that. Anyway, do you still want to see how this might work?”
I nodded, and he clicked through a couple of screens. “This part of the forum is for less experienced dominants to write up a BDSM scene they’d like to try with their sub. Then the other members chime in with whether they think it’s a good idea, if there are any safety concerns, and things like that. I’m going to ask the forum owner if we could create a new thread with a polling feature.”
“Do you think he’d do that?”
“Sure, why not?”
“But wait, if they members of the site are mostly dominant, wouldn’t that mean they’d automatically side with you?”
“I don’t think so. We could write up a little opening statement asking them to be as unbiased as possible. But if you truly think that the results of the voting are skewed—that I didn’t win just because my plan was so hot that it had you on your knees and begging me to take you within the first five minutes—then we’ll think of a new method of arbitration.”
“Damn, you advertising guys are good at pulling stuff out of your ass and