âHowâd you know I like monkeys?â I asked him.
âBecause of Gordo. From your first blog,â he said. Isnât that sweet? I was touched that he remembered.
But not touched enough to pay attention to the presents he got for the other two because I was still trying to figure out what could fit in the wallet. Gift certificates? Trick gum? Sea monkeys? Sea monkeys wouldnât have been that bad, actually. At least theyâre monkeys.
âOkay, CJ. Itâs your turn,â I heard Lynn say. The sound of her voice snapped me right back to attention. Finally I would find out what was small enough to fit in a wallet and my curiosity/fear would be put to rest.
You know whatâs small enough to fit in a wallet?
MONEY.
THATâS WHATâS SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN A WALLET.
CJ got us MONEY for Christmas.
A twenty for Jeremy and Lynn and two twenties for me.
Sixty dollars . . . very generous. But also very . . . money-ous.
Correct me if Iâm wrong, but money is what a grandmother gives. Not a thirteen-year-old boy. Itâs a little weird. Then again, Iâve never minded CJâs weirdness. Iâve always thought it was kind of cute. So why stop now? And besides, as weird a gift as money is, it always comes in handy. Especially around holiday time. So in that way, it could be considered very thoughtful.
After we finished exchanging gifts, we left the restaurant. I said goodbye to Jeremy and Lynn and wished them a merry Christmas.
Then CJ walked me home and we kissed goodbye. I was a little nervous about leaving him. I didnât exactly succeed in making sure we had a lot of fun tonight. But then again, maybe in CJâs weird little mind tonight was more fun than a day at the water park. So I decided to hope for the best. I was only going away for eight days anyway, and the Lord of the Rings boxed set had to be worth at least eight days of remembering me fondly.
As soon as I walked in the door, Lynn called. âI just wanted to tell you how much I love your gift. I canât believe Iâve been wearing Black Charcoal on my nails all this time when Black Roses is so much more vibrant.â
âI loved your gift too. All the gifts. Jeremyâs and CJâs too,â I said.
âYep, those were some gifts we got,â she said.
âDo you think CJ liked his gift? Was it good enough to ensure he misses me while Iâm gone?â I asked.
âAbsolutely, Raise. Heâd be crazy not to miss someone who puts so much thought in the gifts she gives,â Lynn said. Then she told me the craziest thing. Which was that she and Jeremy broke up. Yesterday. But that they didnât want to ruin tonight by saying anything to CJ and me. âI just felt it was time to move on,â she said.
âBut you guys get along so well,â I told her. âAnd you seemed like you were having so much fun tonight.â
âWe were. I guess weâre just better as friends. Itâs less complicated. And this way Jeremyâs less likely to write a song for me for Black Christmas.â
âWhatâs wrong with him wanting to do that?â I asked.
âHeâs missing the point of Black Christmas. Black Christmas is all about standing up against The Man. Not about singing mushy love songs. If he doesnât get that, then he doesnât really get me either,â Lynn said.
âRight on,â I said. But only because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. Inside, I wished CJ would do something like write a song for me and sing it at Black Christmas.
âAnd whatâs the point of being with someone if they donât really get you?â she added. Which is a very interesting point. I should make an appointment with myself to give that some more thought. But at that moment all I could think about was how I had to wake up at negative a hundred oâclock in the morning. So I just agreed with Lynn and wished her a very merry Black
Major Dick Winters, Colonel Cole C. Kingseed