and get hurt again, donât you?â
âIâm probably halfway there already,â Julia groaned. âAnd if I wasnât before that kiss I certainly am now.â
âAll the more reason to try it out.â
âI canât.â Julia shook her head even though her sister was half a world away from seeing the decisive action. âNo way. Because heâs special. One of us would end up getting hurt. Probably me. Maybe both of us.â
âNot necessarily.â
Julia spoke softly. âHe adores kids, Anne. Heâs the perfect father-in-waiting.â
âOh-h-hâ¦â
The sound was so full of understanding and sympathy it brought tears to Juliaâs eyes.
âYou wonât believe what I said to him after that kiss.â
âWhat?â
âI saidâ¦â Julia had to catch her breath to swallow a sob that was determined to escape. âI said that heâd have to marry me now because of what Sister Therese used to say at school. Do you remember? About kissing and babies?â
âOh, no!â But Anne was laughing. âWhy do you do it to yourself, hon? Every time. Salt in wounds and all that.â
âItâs the way I deal with stuff. You know that.â
Her sisterâs voice was soft. âI know youâre not as tough as you like to make out, Jules. I know how much it can hurt.â
âBetter to make jokes than let people feel sorry for me. Or not to tell them and let things go further than is good for anyone involved.â
âMacâs not Peter.â
âNo. I doubt thereâs anyone on earth that quite matches my ex-fiancé in the creep stakes.â
âItâs been three years. Maybe itâs time to have a look and see what else is out there. When was the last time you met anyone you were attracted to this much?â
âThree years.â Julia gave an unamused huff. âTell you what, if I come across any nice widowers with a few motherless children in tow, Iâll pounce, I promise.â
âThere are plenty of men who could actually handle adoption. Or surrogacy.â
âOr who would say they can. Where have I heard that before?â Julia couldnât help the bitter edge to her voice. âAnd then theyâll turn up two weeks before the wedding and say, âOops, sorry, babe. I got someone else pregnant and guess what? It is a major after all.ââ Neither could she help the spill of words sheâd kept bottled up for so long. ââI didnât realise how amazing being a father was going to be and this is the real thing. I didnât have to go into some cubicle in a clinic and look at dirty magazines andâââ Julia stopped abruptly, gave a huge sniff and then cleared her throat. âSorry,â she added quietly.
âDonât be. You should have said all this a long time ago instead of brushing it off and putting on such a brave front.â
âI guess Iâve been thinking about it all again, thanks to that kiss. No, actuallyâ¦â Julia closed her eyes. âIâve been thinking about it since the first day on the job here. Since I saw who Iâd be working with. Iâve thought about it every time Iâve seen him with kids. The way he is with them.â
She didnât notice the way her tone softened. âHeâs a born dad. You should have seen him today. We had this little girl on the train. Carla, her name was. She was only seven and so scared and then I handed her up to Mac and he just has to look at her and sheâs smiling . It wasââ
âHey, I think I saw that on the news when I walked past someoneâs television this morning,â Anne interrupted. âI havenât had time to check the papers. I knew it was in the UK somewhere but I didnât realise you were involved.â
âYep. It was up between Edinburgh and Inverness. Bang in our patch.â
âI saw