demanding I allow him to take the lead. The tension gripping my body for the last few days since I saw him again begs for release. I find myself grabbing at his shirt, clenching, pulling him even tighter against me than his already strong hold has us pressed against each other. He sucks on my tongue desperately and bites down on my lip when I move to pull away for air.
Panting breathlessly, eventually we come up for no other reason than we need to breathe. Shocked at the intensity of my reaction, embarrassment starts to seep in. I begin to pull away, but Vinny follows, not allowing our contact to break. He nuzzles the side of my face, and I listen to his hard breathing so close to my ear. It’s insanely erotic and I need to put space between us to stop myself from doing something stupid. “I need to see you again, Liv.” His voice is low and rough.
I do my best to pull my thoughts together, but my head is spinning, my mind a tangled web of mixed emotions, some old, some new. “What about Krissy, or Missy, or whatever her name is?”
“Over.” His response is quick, tone clipped.
“Since when, I just saw you together last week?”
“Since right now.”
Shit. I wish I didn’t love his response, but I do. It’s defiant and socially improper, but it’s also raw and honest. And everything that attracted me to him so many years ago. He is who he is, and makes no apology if it’s not what you expect. In a strange way, I was always a little envious of him. The ability to live your own life, truly for yourself, is such an easy thing to say, but such a difficult thing to do.
Saturday morning I go to yoga. I really don’t want to drag my lazy ass out of bed, but I need it. More for my mental well-being than my physical. My brain feels jumbled the entire drive there, my usual morning clarity evading me. Being with Vinny yesterday confused me. I’d been hurt by him once, and it took a long time to get over it. Longer than I care to admit. It wouldn’t be wise to go for a second chance. Missy may have turned into Krissy, and fighting in the hall turned into fighting in a cage, but he’s still the same. The same boy that takes what he wants and doesn’t look back. Except now he’s a man. God, he’s all man.
But that kiss. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. Filled with passion and desire, it made me forget where I was. Who I was. Being near him is dangerous. I could easily fall for him again, which is why I know I can’t see him anymore. I’d told him I’d think about it, but my decision wasn’t difficult to make. Once I put distance between us, I was able to think clearly.
I’m more relaxed and focused after yoga, but still not nearly my organized self. I stop downtown to grab some groceries, and I struggle to find my ringing phone in my bag while carrying my packages to the parking lot. I don’t immediately recognize the number.
“Liv?” A woman’s voice. It’s familiar, but I can’t match the face immediately.
“Oh, hi Elle. How are you feeling?”
“Like I swallowed a ten pound watermelon,” she sighs. “Listen, I’m dying for some coffee. Are you busy? I’ll have decaf, you can have the good stuff and describe it to me as you drink it.”
I smile thinking of our first and only meeting. We’d become fast friends and I liked her. I’d described the taste of my coffee that she was so desperate to consume. “Sure, I’d love to. I’m downtown, how about Barto’s?”
“Perfect, I’ll meet you in half an hour.”
Elle and I sit and chat for a while. She tells me how she met Nico while doing some contract work for him. I tell her about the job I’m desperately trying to land and my backup position with the Post in New York. An hour into our chat, she quiets for a minute before looking up at me sheepishly, I can see she wants to say something.
“I have a confession to make.”
“Okaaay.” I drag